The blues...

... I have them.

I think I need some more diet coke. I'm feeling down.

Why Beer is Amazing.

Did you know that beer is awesome? This is why:

• It makes me happy
• It makes me sleep better
• It makes me warm and cozy
• It makes me want to dance and sing
• It makes a horrible movie better
• It makes the stress of the day disappear
• It makes decisions easier to make
• It makes me honest
• It makes me smile
• It makes me laugh

Dead Tired.

So, I am going to sleep. :)

A Day of Stress.

I have not yet written about the life altering event that happened at my prior job that made me realize that I needed to get out. I have been extremely embarrassed by my behavior, and didn't really want to put it out for the world to see.

I think it's beneficial for me to get it out of my system, so tonight I am going to share.

It all started with an assistant manager who decided that she needed to fall off a ladder. Hummm... perhaps that is a harsh way of putting it. She decided that she was going to be extra efficient and carry 6 boxes of shoes down a ladder that was extremely unstable. The end result was a a cut up arm, bruised ego, and a torn ligament in her knee.

This injury placed her on "sit-down-duty" for a full month while the insurance company fought with her, me, and the retail company trying to determine the best course of action. Yes, a doctor was saying there was no other option but surgery, however, the insurance company was not so sure. SO after a month of worthless physical therapy and a manager who got 40 hours a week to be a cashier, we finally got the approval for the surgery.

Problem? I was scheduled to get married and go on my honeymoon while she was gone. Bigger problem? I was told I could have the weekend for the wedding but I was refused any additional time off. So I patiently waited and hoped that the doctor would give us some good news.

Then it happened. I had a mental breakdown and almost lost my job because of it.

Here is a wonderful list of what happened to me on "Black Wednesday":

• I was on my 4th week of working EVERY single day. I'm talking 8-10 hour long days... not just short little bits here and there. 
• At least 3 of those shifts a week were "split shift" where I opened and closed in one day.
• I had a second assistant who had just called out sick, with a doctors note saying that she could not be in for 3 days.
• The store was BLOWING UP in sales because it was Back-To-School
• My first assistant called me and told me that she was 99.99% sure I wouldn't be able to go on my honeymoon because of her recovery process
• I received a phone call from my (then) fiancée telling me that gentleman that was letting us have our wedding at his house had just called him and canceled... 31 days before we were scheduled to get married at his house.
• I had a no-call/no-show
• My DM called me and let me know that the President of the company, VP of the company, Director of Store Operations, and Director of Marketing would be in my store the next day.
• I couldn't find the schedule because someone decided that they would take the WHOLE thing home.

I might have overreacted. Actually, I know I overreacted. I said somethings that I really shouldn't have said, and I made a BIG mistake that night of letting my stress get the better of me. 

I do believe that I actually had a mental breakdown in the store. It was horrifying... if I was a sales associate I am pretty sure I would have been a little frightened as well. Needless to say, I got a phone call from HR the next week letting me know there would be an "investigation" into my behavior... on the same day that I received the good news that I would get my honeymoon after all. 

So, while I was basking in the sun on my honeymoon, I got to stress over the fact that I didn't know if I was going to come home to find out I had been terminated from my job.

Yes, my mistake. However, I do believe that I deserved some help in my store... and the other DMs were VERY selfish and no one bothered to help me out at all. No one would even give me the common courtesy of calling me back. It also didn't help matters that the person who called HR made up a ton of lies that I had to listen to over and over and over again. It made me depressed... 

.... I started sleeping all the time... I didn't want to do anything... I hated what my life had become...

THAT is when I had my second "mild-breakdown" and pulled my car over to the side of the road and decided in a fit of insanity that I was done.

6 months later. Here I am.

FREE.

Oh, and for the record, I am not a crazy person. I also learned it is probably a good thing I didn't join the military... I wouldn't have done so well in long-term high stress situations.

NEW PHONE!!!!

I am SOOO excited I went 12 mins over my day... am I fogiven?? :)

Public Transportation.

I have decided that it is time to give up the car and start taking the train to work.

I would like to say that it's because I want to reduce my carbon footprint on the earth, but the reality is that gas prices are over $4.00 now and I am doing it more to save my wallet, than my planet. I feel a bit of shame writing that... actually admitting my selfishness.

Here is my dilemma. I spend roughly $45.00 every 4 days in gas, which is equal to 337.50 every 30 days. A coaster pass is $120.00 a month. I would drive 5 miles to the coaster station, get to work, and then walk the 5(ish) blocks to the office. This would take extra time during the day, and I wouldn't get home as quickly. Is it worth it to lose this time to save money? (And ya know, save the planet?)

Right now I think the answer is yes. This view might change once I actually have to do it... but currently I think it's the best solution to the "money for gas" problem that has snuck up on me.

I am starting this on May 1st, and have promised myself that I will stick with it through the entire month. I have a feeling that after a LONG day at work I am going to be irritated that I have to walk all the way to the coaster station... but I think the savings will be well worth it! (I hope)

So wish me luck! I am not the best at change....

Bubble Bath

I can not remember the last time I had a bubble bath. I mean, honestly, what an impractical thing to do! Who really has the time to spend two hours in the bathtub watching re-runs of old TV shows on her laptop.

Oh, wait. I DO!

I think that it should be mandatory that every Sunday night everyone is required to take a bubble bath. A glass of wine should be included for the older ones.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday have been three amazing days this weekend. If I have said it a million times I am so very sorry... but having my weekends back is a very rewarding experience! It's a little world that I have missed out on for too long.

At my last job I had to make a formal request to get a Saturday off, and I am not the type to go around asking for things that I know will get me a look of disappointment from my boss. So, I took what Sundays I could get off... and just decided that Saturday was never going to be mine.

Oh how sweet it is to have Saturday back!

I don't think I will ever give it up again... it's too powerful in my life as a relaxing agent. It makes me happy, and that's what really matters in life! Health before Wealth!

The problem with "Spotty Internet"

UGH. How DARE I miss a day! Truthfully, I didn't "miss the day" as far a what I was going to write... I just couldn't get the DAMN internet to work!

The above shall be the post for 04/23/2011, and below is the post for 04/22/2011

>>>>

"I can say, for the first time in a LONG time I am truly happy with my life, my choices, and my future"

Visit!

Tomorrow, I go to visit my God Son!  :)

I am very excited!!!

Husband is NOT as excited as he is feeling neglected, I have a feeling I am going to need to make a large batch of cookies when I get back to make up for me being gone for the weekend.

We then have Easter Dinner with my family on Sunday. I am happy to be able to have this weekend to spend with people that I love dearly. It's nice to be able to have the time free from work. It's amazing.

Struggles

I have been struggling with content of this blog for some time now, mostly about how open about my life I should be. My "Escape" is one thing, but there are other aspects of my life that I am unsure about how forthcoming I should be on the details.

This blog is open for the world to see, so I take precautions not to damage the reputation of a company, hurt my family's feelings, or set ablaze any bridges (just in case I should ever have to return to retail). Yet, I feel as if I am hiding too much, keeping this blog to superficial.

My blogs of sadness, shame, hurt have been the ones that I have received the best response from. Then I re-read them and think how silly I was to allow myself to show that much of myself. Of course, you all know I enjoy drinking, as several blogs have been "buzzed" blogs, but that doesn't break down the outer shell of me. It doesn't get to the heart of my feelings, doesn't allow me to be 100% open and free.

I think and additional goal of mine is going to be allowing more emotion into this blog. It has been four months of retail freedom, and I know that I am happier and better person NOW in April 2011, than I was in December 2010. It has been decided... I will allow more of myself to shine through on my blogs... I think it will be even more healing.

Plus, I will be forced to develop and grow.

So it is settled. More emotion (good or bad) and more ME.

Well, this should be interesting, don't you think?

Children and Retail

I felt the need to elaborate on my post earlier regarding horrible children. I love kids, I really do. I have a God Baby (Pumpkin Butt) that proves that I love children. What I can't stand is parents.

A little background on that blog.

Sunday is HELL in retail, for some reason everyone realizes Sunday afternoon that they forgot to get whatever it is they were supossed to buy Friday as they were leaving work. This Sunday was no exception, and the line to check out of Walmart was my own personal hell.

The parents of a (roughly) five year old boy were placing items for purchase on the check out, and their child was running amok pulling random items off the shelf and throwing them up in the air like a maniac.

Now, had this been a mother or father, alone, trying with all her might to control one child while also taking care of the household... I would have more sympathy. The problem was BOTH parents were looking at the child like, "Whatever, I don't have to clean that mess up". I almost had a heart attack right there, I swear I probably looked like a meth-head twitching in line out of rage towards these parents. I just wanted to grab the little kid at put his butt on a time out! BUUUUT doing that would have awarded me jail time, so I bit my tongue.

THAT is what is wrong with parents. NO structure, NO discipline. That is why people in customer service lose their minds quickly. Parents are not raising their children to be NICE people.

Okay, end of rant!

Puppy Snuggles

...are the best snuggles in the world!

I am enjoy some right now. They are euphoric... so I can't think of anything crazy and wild.

Everyone needs a baby-dog, they are wonderful!

Parents

Dear Parents,

Please do not let your brats run around the knocking over displays and throwing crap every which way, it makes the employees very annoyed. Just because you are a horrible customer doesn't mean you need to pass that along to your offspring.

Thank you,

Mrs. Retail Manager.

The problem with Saturday is...

...I lose track of time too easily!

It is almost Midnight and I have yet to blog anything. When did I suddenly "get a life"? Oh yeah, it's when I quit retail! 

Happy Saturday Everyone!

I can't believe what I just did.

A friend of mine is looking for a job.

I sent another friend (Store Manager) a text to ask if she was hiring. 

...she is...

The lines of communication between the two have been opened.

Did I just send someone to Retail DOOM?! Am I going to ex-retail hell? (Probably, but for many, many, many, other reasons). Then there is the other side of the coin. Did I really just recruit for a location that I used to manage? What is wrong with me? Can I never be free from the repetitiveness of retail and all the information that was brainwashed into me?

Things that make me feel better:

1. Job seeker needs a job
2. Store Manager needs an Assistant Manager
3. Beer/Diet Coke
4. My Dogs
5. It's not me that's going back to retail
6. Battlestar Galactica Reruns

That is my story for the night, I will have to let you all  know how this pairing works out. I will also have to let you know if Job Seeker decides to hunt me down and kill off my firstborn fur-baby (yes, I am talking about my dog) because I sent them back into the world of retail.

Also, did you all get your taxes done? We did. Totalllllly last minute. Go me. 

Mood: FRUSTRATED.

I am sorry that I have been so short on my blogging. I promise soon I will get back to posts about life and excitement.

Today was one of those days that reminds you that just because you are in a "low stress" environment for work, doesn't mean every day is going to be stress free.

I am agitated, annoyed, and frustrated. There are PLENTY of other words to describe my mood, but this is a family blog and I don't want to be cussing it up left and right. I hate when people are upset and hurt, especially when they are people I care about.

It makes it even worse when they are people that you interact with daily... I want to fix the problem, and I know that I can't. Right now I am in a mood that would make the Devil leave me alone if he passed by me on the street... it is quite unpleasant.

I shall spare you my wrath, and nonsensical rantings. Gosh, you are lucky.

Shall I leave you with a random quote of the night? Okay, here it is, "You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice."

LONG DAY

I almost felt like I was back at the store running around like a chicken with my head cut off. It was insane at the new job today.

Plus side, I got sushi for dinner and I took excellent voice notes for my "I'm gunna write a book" plan.

Down side, I am very tired and not thinking clearly.

Oh well, I think it all evens out in the end.

Off I go to read an excellent book and put my feet up. :)

Midnight

I totally forgot my blog before midnight hit!! OH NO!!!

At least I remembered to write something :) right??

How to Tell What Day of the Week It Is Just By Looking At Me.

Monday: 

Refreshed from the weekend. Hair is down, makeup is perfect, clothes are clean, socks match. At work early.

Tuesday: 

Hair is now in a pony tail (I get to that level of laziness pretty quickly), makeup is perfect, clothes are clean, socks match. At work on time.

Wednesday: 

Hair is in pony tail, make up is nice, wearing something comfortable rather than something pretty (still clean tho, that's a bonus), socks match. At work on time.

Thursday:

Hair is in a bun (poor hair), makeup is decent (it was also done in the parking lot at work), I wish I could kiss the person that invented the black hoodie (because that's all I am going to wear for the rest of the work week) and jeans that I probably found on the floor, socks might match. At work on time(ish).

Friday:

Hair is in a WET bun, makeup is semi-applied (still done in parking lot), black hoodie that has been worn way to much in the last few days and probably the same jeans as Thursday, socks do NOT match. Running to work to hopefully clock in at 9:35.

Saturday:

Hell Yeah, I look GOOD.

Sunday:

Pajamas all day. Good luck getting me out of the house and into something that is not a pair of sweatpants.

Oh hey, it's Monday again!

The Less Than 40 Hours Predicament

Tonight I am being creative!

I have found an amazing blog on the internet that has piano sheet music, and as I type this my printer in on overdrive printing up all the music I could want for days, weeks, maybe even years.

I am SO excited right now. I have even started messing around with the keyboard chords just to enjoy the sounds of the notes.

I am not looking forward to heading back to work tomorrow, this has been the laziest of all weekends, and I just want to sleep in my bed forever. So, if any of you are interested in work for me... I'll make sure to let my boss know that you are going in.

Off I go to play beautiful(ish) music!!

This Saturday

... I am going to read instead of watch TV in bed.

I am also attempting to stay up past 11pm. Wish me luck, I am not a "night owl" at all.

Short post, don't judge. I love all of you, my faithful 18 readers.

TGIF

I have been SO ready for this weekend. I don't know why I feel so drained this week, but I am just about ready to pass out.

My poor house, I feel like I have neglected it. I hate when it is messy, and right now it looks like a bomb has gone off. Sadly, that means my weekend will involve cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning. I guess that's what I get for being a lazy-butt this week.

I don't understand how I can be full of OCD one week, and full of lazy laziness the next.

I was SOOOOO pumped to leave work today. I don't know why, I just came home and sat on Facebook and Twitter posting a bunch of random nonsense that I am sure just drives people crazy. It's okay, there is always the "delete friend" option right?

It's only 8pm, and I am 28. I shouldn't be tired.

Oh well, I don't care. I'm going to get ready for bed. I think I will plan on an early morning so I can clean everything early and actually enjoy my Saturday night!

It finally happened...

I almost forgot my blog post tonight!

I know loyal 18 readers, what would you have done if there was nothing for you to read? How would I have looked at myself in the mirror if I had forgotten to fill your heads with sarcastic nonsense that flows from my fingers?

I can tell you this, I am not feeling very creative right now. I want to be creative, but I think that I am just in a slight slump in my writing. Stop rolling your eyes as if to say, "you have been in a slump since you started this blog", that's not very nice.

So here it is... day #50. The big FIVE-O. I honestly can't believe I made it this far. Yes, I agree some of the blogs are crap, please don't judge me.

I love my husband, my friends...

... and alcohol.

I left retail to have a life again, so I apologize for some slight blog neglect. Go watch Modern Family, you'll feel better. I promise.

Sneaky, Sneaky....

The ways retail makes you buy through torturing their employees:

1. The Greeter
• Oh yes, can I please, please, please stand at the door and act like a fool. Then they go even further and beg you to say hello in a different way to each customer. 1,000+ ways to say hello should be part of orientation.
2. The Whole Look
• Hours upon hours upon hours of setting up full outfits, windows, rooms, etc... All so you horrible customers can come along and destroy it in some self-satisfyingly ritual. As if making the store a mess makes up for the fact that you have to clean the dishes and pick up your dirty laundry at home. Then I get to pick it up. Luuuuuucky me!
3. Muzak
• It has been scientifically proven that music will control how people shop. (Baaaaa, we are all mindless sheep). Only after sitting through the same 15 Songs on repeat for a 10 hour shift will you understand true pain and torture. The person who invented Muzak should be locked in a store for 36 hours with Christmas music on repeat, that'll be perfect punishment for his horrible creation.
4. BOGO
• This is a two-fold issue. I hate BOGO because there is always that ONE customer that assumes you will always have BOGO. When the company decides to take a break from that sale all HELL breaks loose from this customer. It's like you stepped on a puppy in front of them. The other side of the coin is the customer who can not be bothered with reading the signs, so when you tell them it's BOGO they look at you wide eyed and say "really?"

Well, I think that's enough rage tonight... don't you think?  I just happened upon an article that talked about these things and couldn't help remembering all the pain that was associated with "making a buck" and felt the sudden urge to blog about it. 

Until tomorrow my dears. 

Boxes

The really cool thing about having worked in retail is you have an unlimited supply of boxes should you ever need them.

If you are still really close to the people who work there you also have access to a tape gun if needed. I am lucky enough to own my house, but before that it was a yearly adventure of moving and having those resources close at hand was awesome.

The only awkwardness comes from when you go to a store and there is a new store manager... they look at you all weird and you know they are judging you.

So, yeah, awkward.

Did I miss a day?

Thankfully I did NOT miss my day of blogging. I am so happy that I was smart enough to blog at 4am, although re-reading it I fear I wasn't at my sharpest.

Truthfully, I have had about 8ish hours of sleep in the last three days and I don't think I am functioning properly.

Good news, I have a beautiful God Baby that I nicknamed Pumpkin Butt, so beware you will be hearing LOTS about him. P.S - mommie is doing great. (Oh, and I totally updated my "About Me" to include Pumpkin Butt in it, because I am SOOOOOOO "that" person)

That's all I have for tonight. My suggestion, make up some awesome story in your head... and pretend I wrote it. cool??

Thanks my beautiful internet friends!

The Business of Being Born.

The Business of Being Born is an actual movie (directed by Ricky Lake if you are interested) and now that I am hanging out with my friend as she is having a baby I realize how much of a business this really is. I think after this experience is over (p.s. I'm super excited that I get to experience the start to finish birth of my God Son) I am going to make a comparison blog.

Right now it is, get the moms in, get the babies out, get the room clean, and get the next mommie in!

I also want to say that we have the most amazing nurse. She is understanding, sweet, funny, and just adorable. She has made the beginning of this process (did I mention that it is 3:43am?) so wonderful and comfortable, and made us all feel right at home. I feel more like we are all at a hotel instead of the hospital.

I also want to say I have been up since 5:45ish yesterday. This is from a women with a 10pm bed time. No foolsies.

I think it's about time for me to take a quick shower and get in a bits of sleep, but I am in an adrenalin rush and I am unsure that I will be able to get any sleep. I am also not a fan of sleeping upright in a chair, but I don't have a lot of options at this point.

My thoughts are as far away from retail as I can get them, the only thing I can think is I would never have been able to get this time off and be able to experience this event if I was still a slave to retail. I am also thrilled to have Monday off, another thing I would never have been able to do.

WOOOO! Baby Time!

Friday Entertainment.

What a treat to be able to go out with your co-workers and have fun.  I forget how great it is to be able to "let off steam" with others that are in the same position as you.

When I was the "Big Boss" never went out with my employees (I tried it once and it exploded in my face), so I found that Husband and I stayed at home and did nothing... Ever. The new job is wonderful, the people are awesome and fun! We went over to a co-workers house and stayed up until 2am. It's been a long, long, long time since I have seen 2am. 

I got up at 5am to drive two hours to be with my friend who is having a baby. Who does that? What am I... 21?

It's amazing the energy that I have now that I have reduced my stress level. 

Lastly, I have a confession, the internet here is spotty so my posts might not be long and exciting this weekend. Just an FYI! 

Work Party

Tonight I go to a work party. I have forgotten how much fun it can be to hang out with your co-workers. Tomorrow, I will tell you all about it. :)