Oh Sh*t. I'm 31.

I've been thinking a lot about the time between 30 and 31.  This new world that I've entered into, the world of my thirties.

First, I swear I turned 30 and my body just started laughing at me when I wanted to do things.

Me: Good morning!

Body. Yeah. Right.

Me: Let's get motivated!

[Pause]

Body: Oh you wanna run today? HA! Here is some sciatica pain for that nonsense you were spewing about running.

Second, I realized that I had developed a life of rules.  My own "Dexter Code", expect I wasn't a serial killer of serial killers (to my knowledge).  World, meet my code.

1. Care deeply about what others think about you.

I don't give a crap what any other website tells you. 

You should always, always, always know what people think about you.  Then, ask yourself, "I know that X feels Y about me.  Does X feeling this way build me up, encourage me, and improve my life everyday?"  If the answer to the question is NO.  Get rid of them.  If someone in your life doesn't feel that you are a gift, find someone who does. 

2. Never settle in love.

Love means something different for everyone.  Find what makes your heart swell and keep it.  Better to be alone with yourself, living to make yourself happy, than to be in a situation that makes you always feel deflated and stagnant.  Do this before you make a commitment to someone.  They deserve to feel the same way about you.

3. Health before wealth.

I've told many people this.  I actually learned this one in my late twenties.

I will never be rich, but I WILL always be happy.  I am determined too.

4. "30 is the new 20, and 40 is the new 30" is a load of crap.

I'm 31 years old.  I act like a 31 year old woman.  I do things that 20 year old's MIIIIIIGHT do.  In the end, research PROVES that the more productive you are in your twenties, the better establish and ready to move into your thirties you will be.  So, are you twenty?  Good... get your crap together.  :)

5. Live.  And do what makes you happy.

So, confession time.  I moved in with D after knowing him face-to-face for 47 days.  You heard that right.  I spoke on the phone to this man on April 1st... and moved in with him on May 17th.  NOOOOO foolsies. 

I'll blog more about this at a later day, but for now... you should know that it was the best decision of my life. 

I dragged my feet through MUD with my last relationship.  I learned that sometimes it's okay to go fast, and sometimes it's okay to let your heart lead you.  Even if you mother is shitting bricks and freaking out. (yes, mom.... I know you did, and I love you for it).

So, now you know how to blend into society and be a successful Kim.

Lucky you!

One year ago today.

EXACTLY one year ago today I was working for a footwear company.

• I was 7 hours away from home.
• I was in 115 degree heat, in a stockroom with NO air conditioning.
• I was miserable.
• I didn't KNOW I was miserable.
• I know that now that I was!

But... What does this mean?

I think it means that in the last year I have come a long way.  I am home more often, I see my family more. I am able to have a puppy in my lap and in my bed each night.  Although I might have stress, I think I am happy.  At least happy with the choice that I made to get my big bootay out of retail!  :)

Taking care of SELF.

I have decided that it is time for me to start a routine that is focused around myself.

Now, I totally understand how self centered that seems, and I promise you that I am not getting all wild and insane.  I promise that my Facebook page does not contain an album of nothing but shots of me from one specific and ultra-flattering angle.  I'm NOT that person.  I promise you.

What I do know if I have neglected personal "care" in the last few years.  Most notably, my hands.

Like the stupid girl I am I thought that I would "magically" have perfect hands and nails once I was no longer trapped in a world filled with boxes.  Sadly this is not the case.  What is now apparent is I have terrible skin, and I am now learning how to better care for this body of terrible skin.

I purchased a giant bag of super AWESOME Epsom Salt that smells like heaven and tonight I soaked for and HOUR AND A HALF!  Oh my goodness, right?!  I also got this hand cream "stuff" that comes with gloves... hopefully this means at some point in my life I will actually have nice soft hands, and get rid of my horrible "retail" hands.

One can always hope, right?

So tonight begins a mini-transformation, time spent on myself.  I don't have much time in the day as it is, so I'm curious when I am going to fit this time in.  I do feel that it is important, so I guess I will be staying up an extra 15 mins each night if I need to.

It's okay... like some commercial has brainwashed me into believing... "I'm worth it". HAHA.

The decisions I have made...

Sometimes in life we make good decisions.  

My decision to leave retail = smart.

My decision to start a business = smart.

My decision to get my life back as my own = smart.

My decision to eat more sushi = smart.

Sometimes in life.... we make "bad" decisions, and currently I am struggling with that fact.  Details are irrelivant at this point, but I have been struggling with some paths I have chosen in life.  I use the term "bad" loosely, as often we make decisions that are not BAD, just decisions that we regret, or produce outcomes that we would prefer to avoid.

I am struggling right now.  You hear people talk about the inner-war that happens inside yourself, as if your present state is fighting with your "I told ya so" state.  For me, this causes undue stress and the want to eat and/or sleep constantly. 

It'll get better.  This is know.  I just have to weigh the outcomes of my NEW decisions, and determine what is the best course to take from this point forward. 

Sigh, I think it's a bubble bath and wine sorta night.  What do you all think?

Well, I got sick again.

So I am sorry I have been absent.  Oh my life is insane, and I don't know how it got to that point!

Dog business is coming together.  Thank goodness for the internet!  If you ever need to love something.... Love google.  I can't believe how awesime google is.  Just blows my mind. Lol.

Anyways, I sit on the coaster right now at 8am with a newly downloaded copy of "blogger" on my cell phone.  Hopefully that will help me to blog!!  I can't keep neglecting you internet.  I am awesome, don't you want more of me?

Leaving Retail, to start Retail?

Yeah, you read that right.  HA!

Apparently, I know nothing but retail... and for that reason I have decided that I am going to start a business. Biggest problem at this stage of the game? My Business Partner is in Hawaii.

So, where does that leave me? Many sleepless nights of trying to work through a business plan that is actually going to generate some hefty income. Oh, and yes, I AM still writing my book... I'm just... very tired... all... the... time.

Oh! I am finishing up THREE quilts as well. What is wrong with me?

How on EARTH did I think that I would be able to blog every night with all of this crap going on?

Did I mention that I was sleepy? Like... really really really sleepy? I think having a snuggle doggie right next to me is not helping. He is just making me MORE sleepy.

Well, off I go to work on something else, because I am insane. Yes, you heard me. INSANE.

Dear Mrs. Retail Manager.

Why do you suck so much at blogging??

Why because I am actually starting a business and it's sucking all of my time away from me.  This last week I have spend all of my free time in a fabric shop or in front of my sewing machine!  YIKES.

I think I'm going to go to sleep now. *YAWN*

Don't judge.  I just can't do something everyday for a year.  I failed.

Plus side, I learned a LOT about myself, and I know that I love blogging... and writting... so I'm going to keep up with this blog as best I can.

Enjoy world! Enjoy.