Success is measured in...

... dollar bills.

There is no greater gauge of worth than the all mighty dollar. At least that is what I have been told for the last 10 years.

I don't buy it anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I do believe that there is a correct way to merchandise a store. With the right layout you can take a crappy store and "turn it around" in sales. BUT let me make something clear, I do NOT buy into the fact that you can take a 1 million dollar store and turn it into a 2 million dollar store simply by having the "right" people work there. At some point you must level off, and a 1 million dollar store is just that, a 1 million dollar store.

This brings up another point, and I would like to let ya'll in on a secret. Volume is KEY when making a decision on where to work. Just because it has the same company name on the front door, doesn't mean the two different locations pay the same, not even close in most cases. You will always make more money in a high volume store, especially when you reach management. I know what you are thinking... "duh, of course, that's pure economics. More money coming in means you have more money to pay your workers." The problem is you do MUCH more work in a low volume store than the high volume store...

and...

More Work = More Pay, right? Nope, more volume equals more pay. Yet, more volume equals less work. See where the problem lies?

I begged for high volume! I was able to have more managers and more workers. I was able to delegate more, and enjoy my role as a Store Manager. When I was stuck in a low volume location often I was the sales associate and was frequently trying to do my job as a Store Manager along with the job of "Sales Associate" for the day. Ugh, no thank you.

Then, when all was said and done... I was a failure in the eyes of corporate because I "missed the day" by $250.00. Oh, the joys of retail.

Good Intentions.

I had great hopes and dreams of writing an exciting blog of exciting things today! Sadly, our Canadian goes to the airport tonight, and I fear that I will not have enough time when I get back home to write anything of substance.

Today I was thinking about the various types of customers. I would love to make an all-inclusive list of all the shoppers in this world, there are so many! For example, the "Needy Customer" a.k.a. "The Customer Who Asks One Million Questions About Nothing", or asks to see a shoe in a size 6 and it is right in front of them.

I think Mrs. Needy was my least favorite customer. I would take "Angry at Nothing Customer" over Mrs Needy. Why? You can always escape Angry Customer, often they just want to complain about prices and then move on. Needy Customer sucks hours from your day on stupid things.

"Can you throw this drink away for me?"
"Can you grab this in a size 6? Size 7? Size 8"
"Does this come in black? Blue? White? Green? Orange?"
"What do you have that is similar to this?"
"What shoes do you have that come in a size 7? Can you get me every size 7 in the store so I can try it on?"
"I don't really like blue shoes, but if you have it in a size 7 I might as well try it on, can you grab it for me?" 

etc. etc. etc. etc. for HOURS.

And so, my list has begun... and shall grow. I welcome your comments on this!

Reclaiming Saturday!

Today my friends and I went on an adventure, I am SO fortunate to have Saturday back in my life.

I will be honest, I am super tired and just want to snuggle my dogs and enjoy the rest of the night. This will be a blog lacking content and tomorrow should be back to our regularly scheduled programing. 

Off I go to zone out to the TV! (ELEVEN DAYS TODAY!)

No Hitting Zone

So I sat down today with the intentions of figuring out a place where Canadian and I could drag Husband and Roommate too. We would like to go have High Tea at a hotel lounge, but at $32.00 per person (yikes) that doesn't really fit into the finances.

Anyways, we got a'talkin' about the blog, and I totally forgot that she was at one point a captive to retail as well! We started pouring over story after story... and then it happened... we realized we both have been physically attacked by customers. I'm not talking about being spit upon or having a pair of socks thrown at you (although, both of those things have happened to me as well) I am talking about being hit. H. I. T. HIT!

Canadian's story goes like this:

While working at a shoe store a customer that looked like she belonged in an amazonian tribe walked in and asked for size 12 shoes. Now, I get that size 12 is a difficult size to come by, I sold shoes myself for a while... but facts are facts and unfortunately sometimes you can't get the shoes you want because they don't come in size enormous. (Or size small for that matter. I wear a size 5 and often I am unable to buy shoes that I want, I deal with it juuuuust fine, I don't feel the need to use someone as a punching bag.)

Apparently this lady was told by her extra large parents that she was the goddess of everything and if she wanted a pair of shoes in a size 12, she could STRIKE another human to get it. Yes, you read that right... this crazy customer went all "Chuck Norris" on Canadian and hit her on the shoulder hard enough to leave a bruise! Thankfully Mall Security was able to track down this woman (Mounties do have excellent tracking skills) and kick her out of the mall before she did bodily harm to another human being.

My story:

A equally large woman was trying to return items that we knew to be stolen. I refused to return the items for this customer, stating I would only give her store credit. When she started cussing and freaking out, I walked out of the store to flag mall security... when I tuned around ...WHACK! I received a blow across the face. 

Well, I tend to be a bit of a Hot-Head, so I chased this crazy lady down the sidewalk screaming things at her like, "I hope you like jail because that is where you are going after I'm done pressing assault charges!" Somehow a co-worker caught up to me and escorted me back to the store where the police department had already been called. 

The Suspect, who I lovingly refer to as Shaniqua, is still at large. (Probably scoring some meth as you read this.)

Well kiddos? Did you enjoy story time? I have plenty more, but right now I am off to dreamland. Until tomorrow, goodnight sweet internet.

The Perfect Job

I have thought a lot about what I feel would be the perfect job, and I mean the perfect, perfect, perfect job. 

To date I haven't succeeded in finding an answer to that question. There are days that I wake up and wish I could be a famous singer travelling the world and making tons of money, and other days that I wake up and wish I could sort M&M's by color all day long. In reality I know concept of "the perfect job" would mean something completely different to each person. I love my job, but statistically there is another person out there that would be better at my job than me, does that mean my job is MORE perfect for that person? (Ugh, now I'm starting to sound like "that" person. I think I will give these thoughts a rest for a while before the entire Internet turns it's back on me.)

I love being challenged and I love learning new things. I think that's what fascinates me about my new job, and the prospect of furthering my education. When I was working in retail I was what is known as a "fix it manager", my job was to go into a store that was crappy and make it a "well oiled machine". This was super awesome, for about a year, and when I got the store cleaned up... I lost my challenge. Often there wasn't another place for me to go right away, and boredom set in. Ten years of basically the same thing made me almost lose my mind. 

Fact. I did almost lose my mind. Not the "I'm going to stand on the street corner and wait for the aliens to abduct me" kind, more like the "It's 3am and I feel the need to bake a million cookies because I can't sleep which is really stupid because I just worked a 14 hour day" kind. Poor Husband. No, I take that back... he got a LOT of baked goods during that time period, I don't feel bad for him.

On a happier note, it is 8:30pm and I am already in my pajamas and in bed... I love not having to close a store. Maybe wearing Pajamas is my perfect job.

Tears

I re-designed a lot of this blog tonight, and now at 8:40pm I realized that I really hadn't thought at all about posting. I tend to think a little about the blog throughout the day, and have a mini-brainstorm on my way home. This clears my thoughts and often I am reminded of a funny/sad/unique story that gives me a little spark of inspiration.

Sadly, I received a text from a former co-worker who is having a hard time, and it got me thinking about how many times I shed tears AT work. I remember one time when I got so overwhelmed with everything that I just locked myself in the bathroom and bawled. This was because I wasn't sure if I wasn't going to be able to go on my Honeymoon, and I had a mini breakdown. Okay, I had a HUGE breakdown... helllooooo it was my Honeymoon... I'm amazed I didn't burn the place down. (kidding! I'm not a psycho!)

It's shocking how much people complain at work, and when you are the manager you get bombarded with unreasonable complaints. When you working 6 days a week the last thing you need is someone complaining about having to close on the weekends. I want to know what makes people think they are so special they have the right to complain about anything and everything from the moment they clock in, to the moment they clock out. When I was a Sales Associate I kept my mouth shut. If I failed to request a day off I knew that it was my mistake and I had to deal with the consequences, I didn't run to the Store Manager and beg them to try and get the day switched. If I requested the day off and my Manager failed to give me that day off, I went to work.

A request is a request people! I say be thankful that you have a job, there are a lot of people out there that would be thrilled to be in the same position as you. I'm sure there will be another weekend that you can go get "trashed" with your friends, your requested day off isn't National Associate Day Off Day, I don't know why you are acting like the scheduling manager just broke the law by making you work 4 hours. 

I should mention that if you are being sexually harnessed, please complain to your boss. If you are upset because you work 5-9 every Saturday and Associate #2 works 10-2... Shut up.

Wow, I think I lost my way again. See what happens when I don't brainstorm, I just go on crazy tangents and no one can stop me. And I thought about it... I've cried 4 times at work. Once I was accused of stealing (a story for another night, and NO I didn't steal anything), another time I was so overwhelmed with another manager I just started crying, the third time was when a DM walked the sales floor and we "failed" a walk and I thought this was the end of the world (it wasn't... but I sure felt like it was), and the fourth time was the Hooneymoon story.

I'm not much of a crier.

So, did you enjoy anything?

Let’s see…

                             

I found many friendships, like my forever Roommate who introduced me to my husband, and many of my closest friends are ex-coworkers. Oddly enough, I really enjoyed running a cash register. (I could do it all day if I never received a single complaint and I didn't have to sell extended coverage plans.) I also enjoyed merchandising! I found great joy in being able to take a department that was ugly and re-arrange it to make it pretty and perfect. Stupid, but true.

I found that retail was a "great social experiment" for me. Finding new ways to make people buy crappy product was always a unique challenge. When it worked I felt a great sense of accomplishment, like I had just beat the boss at the end of a video game. I learned a great deal about how cruel the "real world" was, and how back-stabbing some people can be. Yes, I know that sounds negative... but believe me; I needed those social experiences to grow and develop as a person. You get a special blend of skills as a retail manager, and I wouldn't trade those years for anything. Oh, and of course the money, I really enjoyed making lots of money. (Can you say BONUS??)

I say those things, BUT, it was time to get out. Actually, retail freedom had been knocking for several years… I was just too lazy to look for another job and too scared to lose my fat paycheck to answer the door.

Well internet, I have re-read this blog, and I realized that this is a pathetic list. I hope that by the end of this 365 day project I have better things to write about. Until then, this incredibly bitter blogger is heading off to go enjoy some fancy chocolate and Ice Wine from Canada (sorry, you will be hearing about Canada until the 27^th, it’s a big thing in this house right now).

P.S. “Yummmmm....”

My Thoughts While Shopping.

Today the Canadian was leaving my house with Roommate riiiiight as I got home from work. She wanted to go shopping since her dollar is currently higher than ours. Damn Canadians (joke!). I couldn't resist looking at new shiny things so I opted to go with.

I am trying my hardest with this blog to be direct without being flat-out rude, but today, I just can't resit.

Shoppers, you are DISGUSTING.

Disgusting evil piglets, all of you. (Okay, in reality, you are not all disgusting... it just feels that way sometimes.) I am unsure what is SO difficult about trying a pair of shoes on and then picking them back up and placing them back where you found them! Why is it that when you see someone desperately trying to clean up a department you feel the need to trash it more? Oh! And I HATE you destructive individuals who rip open socks for sale like they are your personal try-on socks... and then don't bother buying them, just leave them laying around everywhere.

Sometimes in different departments.

Side thought: something that has always puzzled me is how a person can reach adulthood and not be able to figure out how to put a pair of shoes back into a box.

Okay, enough rage for tonight.

One of my co-workers posted this tonight, and I loved it. Some are cute, some are words of wisdom. Enjoy!

ONE: Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO: Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE: Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR: When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE: When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX: Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN: Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT: Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE: Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN: In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.

ELEVEN: Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE: Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN: When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN: Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN: Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN: When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN: Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN: Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN: When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY: Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE: Spend some time alone.

What's a Saturday?

I am starting off by saying this post is going to be a short one. I am feeling a bit under the weather, and don't have the brain-power to be clever. :)

I enjoyed a wonderful Saturday at a Baby Shower! The Husband and I had a little drive to the shower and we talked about how if yesterday was two months ago I would wake up, text "I'm sorry" to the person who's party I was missing, and then be off to work. It's amazing how much my life has changed in two months! 

I know that my job in retail paid the bills (and supported a family of two) but I can't believe what I was missing. My new motto is Health before Wealth! 

My Adventure at the Drug Store.

I have learned over the years that all too many people justify their behavior with the "squeaky wheel gets the grease" thought. 

Yes, my friends, it is true. If you wear a pair of pants for 6+ years, and when they just "fall apart" on you, you can return them to the store you purchased them, pitch a fit, ask for the manager, then ask for the DM and corporate number and Mrs. Manager's name... Guess what? They will return them for you.  FOR FULL PRICE. Now, you might have to wait while someone scrambles to find a SKU number or something that is similar to the pair of pants you are holding. (Never mind that you are screwing up their inventory, and affecting the raise percentage of the crew during review time... I mean dang-it, you need new pants!) Hell, half that time the entire crew at a store has only been around for 2iiiiish years, so you probably can return ANY pair of pants to that store... even if you bought them in Antarctica.

Just amazing, right? Non-retail people, I know it looks like I just opened a pot of gold, but believe me, sometimes you run into crazy people like me, and then it becomes a whole different story...

I know, the title is about a Drug Store. I'm getting there... hold on... background information is key to this story! :)  Last little tid-bit that you need to know, I am a very opinionated person, very-very-very! I thank my Father for that! I thank my Mother for giving me the will power to hold back when "outbursts of opinion" might get me kicked out of a restaurant, or ya know, fired. 

My Adventure at the Drug Store:

I woke up and decided the day felt like a "need additional caffeine to survive" day. So I opted to stop at a Drug Store and pick up a Diet Coke. Apparently, everyone had the same idea because the line was HUGE. Sadly, there were only two cashiers, one who was ringing people up like a pro, and another who was slower, but apologizing to everyone because she was new. During my wait, I was stuck behind that customer, you know the one, the guy who complains at the top of his lungs about everything because apparently he wasn't hugged enough as a child and being loud is his only way of getting noticed in life. 

Finally it is his turn, he is rung up by the new cashier who asked if he has a discount card, and he didn't, so she didn't give him the discount price. Oh my, it's was like she killed his first born son, he lost his miiiiind over a dollar! He started screaming and calling her "stupid" and "incompetent" and, of course, asking for her manager. So she did. Well I have a caffeine addition that is stronger than my willpower to play nice, so I walked up to the cashier and asked to be rung up. The guy started going off on me.... and that's when I went psycho on a customer in the Drug Store for 15mins... 

... other customers applauded. No joke. 

Honestly, unless a cashier does something like call you Llama-Face, there is nothing that is going to happen by you calling that manager. You will get your discount, for sure, but the manager will probably ask the cashier to step off the sales floor... so in reality you are simply giving them an extra 10 minute break. And if you really think that there is going to be a "talkin' too" because they refused to return your 6+ year old pants, you have another thing coming. If someone follows the company rules you cannot punish them, and there are rarely enough witnesses to prove either side of the story so the conversation usually goes like this, "you followed procedure, good job, I'm sorry the customer was unreasonable."

The truth is Retail Managers see so many lunatics, and we tend to always side with the cashier. Sorry non-retail peeps, asking for someone to get fired will not lead to their termination. 

So there is... my Drug Store story! Did you even make it through? I know this one was kinda a long one... I had to make up for last night. :)

Oh, and DAY FOUR! Woo-Hoo!

Not having to eat at Denny's!

Today is going to be a short one...we have a friend from Canada visiting, and I plan to spend as much time with her as possible!

My thought of the day is how much I love not having to eat at Denny's because that is the only place open when I get off work.  Sadly, we are eating at Denny's tonight, but I blame it on Roommate and the fact that he still works in retail... Off I go to enjoy my Canadian!!  :)

Day 2, and the 8-8-8 Rule

I love my set schedule, have I told you that?!?!

I was watching TV last night and a therapist mentioned the "8-8-8 Rule" - Has anyone else heard of this?? I thought it was a pretty good way to live your life, so I thought I would share.

The rule goes like this:

• 8 hours for School/Work
• 8 hours for Sleep
• 8 hours for Personal Pursuits. 

When you work a life of retail, that personal time gets shorter and shorter... especially during the Holiday season. I can't tell you how much I hate the 6-Day Work Week! And with the economy the way it is, working that many days is SOOOOO pointless! I also want to say, I hate the fact that if you are a Store Manager, the only way you are ever going to get a Saturday off is if you cut off your right arm and sacrifice a goat (P.S - those are two things I don't recommend to do in the workplace, people will call Human Resources). Oh, and I think in my 6+ years of retail management I can probably count the number of Saturdays I have had off on my fingers. (true story)

How does this calculate into my newly discovered 8-8-8 Rule? When you are working a 9 hour day (often working additional hours off the clock, because overtime is forbidden, but is often necessary to complete things since payroll is SO SO SO tight), working odd hours of the day, receiving phone calls at home, etc. there is not much time for other purists. Honestly, I am shocked that I was able to pull off a wedding... that was an amazing feat! I have no idea how I planned/did anything! (I am saving the adventure of my wedding/almost-didn't-happen-Honeymoon for another day, so stay tuned!)

I think I should elaborate on the "Personal Pursuits" section of the 8-8-8 Rule, and assure may captive audience consisting of my mother, my husband, and my best friend, that family and  a social life are included in that category! Think about how absent I was in your life over the last gazillion years!? I mean, really, can you have an all-inclusive relationship with someone over text?? (Yes, best friend, I know you think we can... but honestly, isn't it fun to see me every-now-and-then? *wink*)

Internet World, It's amazing to SEE my husband! Amazing to SEE my extended family! OMGOMGOMG, I have to let you know I am reclaiming Holidays!! I get to celebrate them instead of trying to beat a 2.0 UPT, with a 50% conversion. Hooray! 

People.... I was a great Store Manager, I really was!!! But, honestly, I think I'm better at living my life. :)

365 Day Project.

Well, here is goes! I have decided that I need to do something to challenge myself, I want to know how it feels to be dedicated to something that I do for myself for a whole year. I am going to blog everyday for an entire year!

I wish I would have started this blog years ago, allowing myself an outlet for all the insanity I felt as a retail manager. For fear of termination I didn't... but they can't stop me now! I would love to start a community of "ex-retailers" and all the comfort they feel now that they are "free".

I also hope that people can read this blog and understand and I hope others will learn. It takes a very special person to live their life in retail, and if you have never done it, you are clueless. (Yup, I said it, CL-CL-CLUELESS.) I have always said that it should be mandatory for High Schoolers to work in the service industry for at least 6 months (this includes either the Food Industry or Retail), I think this would (hopefully) make people better understand those careers, and stop treating people like CRAP who work them!

Anyways, here goes 365 days! Wish me luck!

Good Intentions.

I started this blog thinking, "Kim! You did it! Yes, you took at 50% pay cut (not a lie), but it's SOOOOOO worth it!! You are going to have so much free time.... OMG! OMG! OMG! Start a BLOG!!"

See all of those exclamation marks. Those are marks of excitement…. Instead, I sat on my fat ass and enjoyed the life of a "normal" person. And while I sat on my fat ass, I did start a new life, a life FREE from retail.

And now, two months later, it was still the BEST decision EVER! ß See, mark of excitement.

So fellow web-persons, enjoy. Today marks the day I officially start blogging about my life after retail.