One year ago today.

EXACTLY one year ago today I was working for a footwear company.

• I was 7 hours away from home.
• I was in 115 degree heat, in a stockroom with NO air conditioning.
• I was miserable.
• I didn't KNOW I was miserable.
• I know that now that I was!

But... What does this mean?

I think it means that in the last year I have come a long way.  I am home more often, I see my family more. I am able to have a puppy in my lap and in my bed each night.  Although I might have stress, I think I am happy.  At least happy with the choice that I made to get my big bootay out of retail!  :)

Taking care of SELF.

I have decided that it is time for me to start a routine that is focused around myself.

Now, I totally understand how self centered that seems, and I promise you that I am not getting all wild and insane.  I promise that my Facebook page does not contain an album of nothing but shots of me from one specific and ultra-flattering angle.  I'm NOT that person.  I promise you.

What I do know if I have neglected personal "care" in the last few years.  Most notably, my hands.

Like the stupid girl I am I thought that I would "magically" have perfect hands and nails once I was no longer trapped in a world filled with boxes.  Sadly this is not the case.  What is now apparent is I have terrible skin, and I am now learning how to better care for this body of terrible skin.

I purchased a giant bag of super AWESOME Epsom Salt that smells like heaven and tonight I soaked for and HOUR AND A HALF!  Oh my goodness, right?!  I also got this hand cream "stuff" that comes with gloves... hopefully this means at some point in my life I will actually have nice soft hands, and get rid of my horrible "retail" hands.

One can always hope, right?

So tonight begins a mini-transformation, time spent on myself.  I don't have much time in the day as it is, so I'm curious when I am going to fit this time in.  I do feel that it is important, so I guess I will be staying up an extra 15 mins each night if I need to.

It's okay... like some commercial has brainwashed me into believing... "I'm worth it". HAHA.

The decisions I have made...

Sometimes in life we make good decisions.  

My decision to leave retail = smart.

My decision to start a business = smart.

My decision to get my life back as my own = smart.

My decision to eat more sushi = smart.

Sometimes in life.... we make "bad" decisions, and currently I am struggling with that fact.  Details are irrelivant at this point, but I have been struggling with some paths I have chosen in life.  I use the term "bad" loosely, as often we make decisions that are not BAD, just decisions that we regret, or produce outcomes that we would prefer to avoid.

I am struggling right now.  You hear people talk about the inner-war that happens inside yourself, as if your present state is fighting with your "I told ya so" state.  For me, this causes undue stress and the want to eat and/or sleep constantly. 

It'll get better.  This is know.  I just have to weigh the outcomes of my NEW decisions, and determine what is the best course to take from this point forward. 

Sigh, I think it's a bubble bath and wine sorta night.  What do you all think?

Well, I got sick again.

So I am sorry I have been absent.  Oh my life is insane, and I don't know how it got to that point!

Dog business is coming together.  Thank goodness for the internet!  If you ever need to love something.... Love google.  I can't believe how awesime google is.  Just blows my mind. Lol.

Anyways, I sit on the coaster right now at 8am with a newly downloaded copy of "blogger" on my cell phone.  Hopefully that will help me to blog!!  I can't keep neglecting you internet.  I am awesome, don't you want more of me?

Leaving Retail, to start Retail?

Yeah, you read that right.  HA!

Apparently, I know nothing but retail... and for that reason I have decided that I am going to start a business. Biggest problem at this stage of the game? My Business Partner is in Hawaii.

So, where does that leave me? Many sleepless nights of trying to work through a business plan that is actually going to generate some hefty income. Oh, and yes, I AM still writing my book... I'm just... very tired... all... the... time.

Oh! I am finishing up THREE quilts as well. What is wrong with me?

How on EARTH did I think that I would be able to blog every night with all of this crap going on?

Did I mention that I was sleepy? Like... really really really sleepy? I think having a snuggle doggie right next to me is not helping. He is just making me MORE sleepy.

Well, off I go to work on something else, because I am insane. Yes, you heard me. INSANE.

Dear Mrs. Retail Manager.

Why do you suck so much at blogging??

Why because I am actually starting a business and it's sucking all of my time away from me.  This last week I have spend all of my free time in a fabric shop or in front of my sewing machine!  YIKES.

I think I'm going to go to sleep now. *YAWN*

Don't judge.  I just can't do something everyday for a year.  I failed.

Plus side, I learned a LOT about myself, and I know that I love blogging... and writting... so I'm going to keep up with this blog as best I can.

Enjoy world! Enjoy.

Mental Health Day x2

I can't get out of this funk! AND I feel like this week is out to get me.

Someone want to help!?

I am officially...

... taking a mental health day.

I'm so tired I can't even think straiiiiiiii...

.... ght

BIRTHDAY!

IT'S MICHAEL'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

Bowtie

I need to learn how to sew a bowtie, and Google search is NOT helping.

Research today for the business was fun, but oh so long!

My business partner is going to be in Hawaii for three long weeks, I am going to miss his face and also have to work through a lot of designing myself.  In the end I know it's going to be worth it!  Also, I need to find a place where I can get tshirts screen printed for really cheap!

Ah research, how fun!  Tomorrow is more of the same!!

Since this IS my blog about retail escape, I think I am going to blog a lot of my research and new things that I learn from starting my own company.  I think it'll be fun AND healthy!

More to come lovely internet, beware!

The Need.

I feel the need to write something of substance, but I can't seem to find the right words.

I will spare you the gore filled details, but I was very sick last night.  Sick to the point of having to set my alarm clock for 2 hour intervals just so I could wake up and make sure I wasn't dead.

I took a nap today and had to be jolted awake by Husband. I can't remember the last time someone has to physically shake me to wake me up. It's been ages, but now you get a good feel of exactly how exhausted I was.

So I sit here, lappy in front of me trying to think of beautiful words. Unfortunately, beautiful words escape me at the moment and all I can think about is how I'm hungry. Then I think about how I am getting chunky and food is the devil!  Were those beautiful words?  I guess not.

Well, to be perfectly honest, I'm still not feeling the greatest.  My emotional state is a little uneven, so I think I'm going to call it a night on the blog.  Hopefully soon things will start returning to normal and I can get back to being a normal human again. Let's hope shall we?

Website Hunting!

It's difficult to start a business!!!

Anyone have any ideas, thoughts, help??

chop chop!!

I tried to slice my finger off today.  Not on purpose, but it was an excellent attempt.

So, with that, end of my blog for today.

If the finger is feeling better tomorrow I will post more.

Tootles

Research

I spent the last several hours doing research for the business that I am trying to get off the ground.

I know, I know, projects coming out of my behind, right?

Here are the current Kim Needs:

1. I need to finish THREE quilts
1. Baby quilt for Pumpkin Butt
2. My personal quilt
3. Quilt that I'm making for a AWESOME friend
2. I need to get to Michael's to get materials for my "start up" business
1. I need clips
2. Flowers
3. Fasteners
3. I need to get to JoAnne's for some fabric for my quits 
1. Puppy prints anyone?? 
2. MORE puppy prints?
4. I have a CRAP TON of research that needs to be done to start a business
1. Fictitious business name.
2. Online Webpage.
3. Marketing Strategy.
4. Etc! (This list could go on for MILES)
5. I need to figure out CASH flow for starting a business 
1. Along with how to expense out business stuff on taxes
6. Where the HECK am I going to put a Silk Screen MAH-CHEEN?
7. I'm supposed to be writing a book, right? I mean... somewhere in all of this I need to write a book. Or two. Or three?
8. Brother turns 18 on the first, and graduates on the 10th. SO MUCH STUFF TO DO.

I think that's it right now. I don't know, my head is spinning. I need to get this going. I need to get a LOT of things going. I need to stop needing sleep. I need to be a machine!

But, alas! I need sleep. I'm weak like that.

Perhaps I should utilize my coaster time better and start doing more of my projects on the way to work. Think that could work? Who knows, I like having "Kim Time" during the day... which is probably why I am SO very far behind on projects!  :)

I NEED SOME FREAKING MOTIVATION! Along with a bed that isn't so darn comfortable!

I'm Terrible!!

I'm WAY behind.

I'm a BAD blogger.

I am FREE now, no more entrapment, because of this I tend to overexert myself, and now I'm forgetting to blog!

I think I am going to need to put a reminder into my phone so I can remember better, what do you all think?

4am

I stayed up until 4am last night, and slept until noon.

Who AM I!?  I am a 10pm bedtime person.  4am is just crazy!

Don't worry everyone, I got a severe lashing from my Mother in Law who told me that I would get wrinkles from staying up that late.  She also told me not to chop down the tree in my front yard because it would protect Alex and I if someone decided to drive drunk into our house.

I will take those suggestions under advisement, but I have a feeling I will probably go against her wishes with the tree... and get lots and lots of wrinkles from staying up past my bedtime.

Whatcha gunna do?

Sushi and Wine

Perhaps one of the greatest two inventions?

I don't know what it is about white people and Sushi, but we love it.  Don't ask me why, because I really have no idea.

Tonight I was treated to THREE glasses of wine... yes, you heard me... THREE.

So, once again, here I am buzzed-blogging, I think that's the best kind of blogging.  I'm more relaxed and free.

Enjoy internet world!

Contemplating motivation.

I'm still on a motivation kick.

I have some wonderful friends of mine who are the most motivated people in the world.  They are like some magical creature that can get more done in 24 hours than I can get done in a week.  Those people amaze me.  They own their own business, make time for their family and pets, and still seem to always be put together every day.

There are days I can't even be bothered to brush my hair, let alone get out of sweat pants.

Why is is that some people are just amazing?  Then others, like me, can't seem to get past the first lap!  Oh well, if I am to suffer days and days of laziness I suppose there are worst things in life, right?

I wonder how really happy those over-motivated people are.  I mean, are they really happy, or do they just think they are happy because they are unable to stop for two seconds and really evaluate their life.

Well, that's all I have.  Enjoy!!

My Book

So I am slowly chipping away at my book.  I really need someone to light a fire under my ass so I can finish it up, get it published, and make some real money.

Oh money, why do you have to be so evil?

I have so many ideas, it's just making them come to life that I find difficult.  I can start the idea, but finishing it up never happens.  Is there a magical pill that makes you motivated?  It that cocaine? haha.

Maybe I will forever be the "idea girl", the person that has all the right ideas, but not the motivation to make them happen.  I am perfectly happy with myself, and my life... but man, think of all I could accomplish with some proper direction!

Big Bum

Time to get back to the gym!!! I'm packing on a few pounds, and the ONLY thing that retail is good for is keeping the weight down. Soooo, now it's time to get back to my running routine, because my bootay is getting big!

Wish me luck!

Preparing for the Coaster

I am a busy bee tonight!

Since I take the coaster, I find that I get bored of the music and movies that I have on my phone quickly. Tonight I have spent several HOURS transferring music to my new phone, just to ease the boredom of my commute.

I have had the quietest weekend EVER, and I still feel exhausted.

I think I will go to bed early, and that way after work I will have a good bit of energy to do more than just play on the internet tomorrow night.

Website Error or User Error?

Well, Blogger totally messed me up.

Technology failed me, and I was unable to post for several days due to a "server error" with blogger. What a pain in the ass. (yeah, yeah, excuses, excuses)

THEN, I failed myself because the habit has been broken. So... I learned something. I can't do something every day for 365 days.

I do plan on persevering! And, as a way to make up for the posts that I missed, I am going to blog 4 days past what would hit my 365 day end. That way, it all comes out in the wash.

So, internet world, ENJOY!

Oh, and part of making this blog was to document my escape (and recovery) from retail. I think I am doing just that. My social life has once again blossomed. It is a good thing, and a bad thing! haha!

Hospital

Oh life just keeps throwing punches. Hubby spent the last few hours at the Hospital with the MIL because she hurt her hand.

Thankfully, everyone just fine.

Exhausted, but healthy.

Encouragement

I need some encouragement to make myself continue to blog everyday... I'm in a slump. Why? I think because I am overly tired. May has been an exhausting month. I'm yawing as we speak.

I think I need one day of good sleep. Yes, I said DAY of good sleep.

The Destruction of Me

I worked my behind off this weekend. Now I am sore, tired, and dazed.

Time for an early bedtime and a relaxing week.

Doggies!

I spent the entire day dressing up doggies to get their picture taken. I am tired, sleepy, and slightly broken... and yet, it was SO worth it.

I can't really explain my love for dogs, it often boarders on insanity.

I love my doggies very much, and I know that part of my obsession with them is due to the fact and Husband and I do not have any kids. My dogs are my "fur children" and I love them both so much.

Sorry all you cat lovers out there, dogs really are the superior pet. Yeah, I'm a little biased, but it's true. I think science has proven it.

Tomorrow

I am going to go help a friend take pictures of puppies. I am in heaven!! I love my doggies SO VERY MUCH! I am almost so excited I can't sleep.

I do need to get up at 4am, so I think I will contain my excitement a bit... and get some shut-eye.

Nap!

Do not take a nap unless you are willing to accept the fact that you might sleep past midnight and miss you time to blog. LOL!

I got caught up...

... in my sewing! 

 

I lost track of time. :( 

I went past Midnight. You must forgive me!

TV

I do not have a TV in my room. I think we should remedy this problem, because I am feeling the need for some television. I can watch TV from my laptop, but it is NOT the same as having full control over a television set.

That is all. For now.

Quilts

I have a new and strange obsession with quilts.

I have almost completed my VERY first one... I'm super stoked.

This might be my creative outlet. I am too logical, like some freaky pale skinned Vulcan, so having something I can do to be creative is wonderful.

I MIIIIIGHT be open enough to put a picture of my quilt up on this blog. Mayyybe. Truthfully I am a little self-conscience about it. I mean, it's like my virgin quilt, I don't know how appropriate it is for me to be flashing it all over the place. haha!

Dining Room Table

I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned... and my reward???

A dining room table! Now we have some place to eat besides the livingroom.

I am a happy happy girl.

The blues...

... I have them.

I think I need some more diet coke. I'm feeling down.

Why Beer is Amazing.

Did you know that beer is awesome? This is why:

• It makes me happy
• It makes me sleep better
• It makes me warm and cozy
• It makes me want to dance and sing
• It makes a horrible movie better
• It makes the stress of the day disappear
• It makes decisions easier to make
• It makes me honest
• It makes me smile
• It makes me laugh

Dead Tired.

So, I am going to sleep. :)

A Day of Stress.

I have not yet written about the life altering event that happened at my prior job that made me realize that I needed to get out. I have been extremely embarrassed by my behavior, and didn't really want to put it out for the world to see.

I think it's beneficial for me to get it out of my system, so tonight I am going to share.

It all started with an assistant manager who decided that she needed to fall off a ladder. Hummm... perhaps that is a harsh way of putting it. She decided that she was going to be extra efficient and carry 6 boxes of shoes down a ladder that was extremely unstable. The end result was a a cut up arm, bruised ego, and a torn ligament in her knee.

This injury placed her on "sit-down-duty" for a full month while the insurance company fought with her, me, and the retail company trying to determine the best course of action. Yes, a doctor was saying there was no other option but surgery, however, the insurance company was not so sure. SO after a month of worthless physical therapy and a manager who got 40 hours a week to be a cashier, we finally got the approval for the surgery.

Problem? I was scheduled to get married and go on my honeymoon while she was gone. Bigger problem? I was told I could have the weekend for the wedding but I was refused any additional time off. So I patiently waited and hoped that the doctor would give us some good news.

Then it happened. I had a mental breakdown and almost lost my job because of it.

Here is a wonderful list of what happened to me on "Black Wednesday":

• I was on my 4th week of working EVERY single day. I'm talking 8-10 hour long days... not just short little bits here and there. 
• At least 3 of those shifts a week were "split shift" where I opened and closed in one day.
• I had a second assistant who had just called out sick, with a doctors note saying that she could not be in for 3 days.
• The store was BLOWING UP in sales because it was Back-To-School
• My first assistant called me and told me that she was 99.99% sure I wouldn't be able to go on my honeymoon because of her recovery process
• I received a phone call from my (then) fiancée telling me that gentleman that was letting us have our wedding at his house had just called him and canceled... 31 days before we were scheduled to get married at his house.
• I had a no-call/no-show
• My DM called me and let me know that the President of the company, VP of the company, Director of Store Operations, and Director of Marketing would be in my store the next day.
• I couldn't find the schedule because someone decided that they would take the WHOLE thing home.

I might have overreacted. Actually, I know I overreacted. I said somethings that I really shouldn't have said, and I made a BIG mistake that night of letting my stress get the better of me. 

I do believe that I actually had a mental breakdown in the store. It was horrifying... if I was a sales associate I am pretty sure I would have been a little frightened as well. Needless to say, I got a phone call from HR the next week letting me know there would be an "investigation" into my behavior... on the same day that I received the good news that I would get my honeymoon after all. 

So, while I was basking in the sun on my honeymoon, I got to stress over the fact that I didn't know if I was going to come home to find out I had been terminated from my job.

Yes, my mistake. However, I do believe that I deserved some help in my store... and the other DMs were VERY selfish and no one bothered to help me out at all. No one would even give me the common courtesy of calling me back. It also didn't help matters that the person who called HR made up a ton of lies that I had to listen to over and over and over again. It made me depressed... 

.... I started sleeping all the time... I didn't want to do anything... I hated what my life had become...

THAT is when I had my second "mild-breakdown" and pulled my car over to the side of the road and decided in a fit of insanity that I was done.

6 months later. Here I am.

FREE.

Oh, and for the record, I am not a crazy person. I also learned it is probably a good thing I didn't join the military... I wouldn't have done so well in long-term high stress situations.

NEW PHONE!!!!

I am SOOO excited I went 12 mins over my day... am I fogiven?? :)

Public Transportation.

I have decided that it is time to give up the car and start taking the train to work.

I would like to say that it's because I want to reduce my carbon footprint on the earth, but the reality is that gas prices are over $4.00 now and I am doing it more to save my wallet, than my planet. I feel a bit of shame writing that... actually admitting my selfishness.

Here is my dilemma. I spend roughly $45.00 every 4 days in gas, which is equal to 337.50 every 30 days. A coaster pass is $120.00 a month. I would drive 5 miles to the coaster station, get to work, and then walk the 5(ish) blocks to the office. This would take extra time during the day, and I wouldn't get home as quickly. Is it worth it to lose this time to save money? (And ya know, save the planet?)

Right now I think the answer is yes. This view might change once I actually have to do it... but currently I think it's the best solution to the "money for gas" problem that has snuck up on me.

I am starting this on May 1st, and have promised myself that I will stick with it through the entire month. I have a feeling that after a LONG day at work I am going to be irritated that I have to walk all the way to the coaster station... but I think the savings will be well worth it! (I hope)

So wish me luck! I am not the best at change....

Bubble Bath

I can not remember the last time I had a bubble bath. I mean, honestly, what an impractical thing to do! Who really has the time to spend two hours in the bathtub watching re-runs of old TV shows on her laptop.

Oh, wait. I DO!

I think that it should be mandatory that every Sunday night everyone is required to take a bubble bath. A glass of wine should be included for the older ones.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday have been three amazing days this weekend. If I have said it a million times I am so very sorry... but having my weekends back is a very rewarding experience! It's a little world that I have missed out on for too long.

At my last job I had to make a formal request to get a Saturday off, and I am not the type to go around asking for things that I know will get me a look of disappointment from my boss. So, I took what Sundays I could get off... and just decided that Saturday was never going to be mine.

Oh how sweet it is to have Saturday back!

I don't think I will ever give it up again... it's too powerful in my life as a relaxing agent. It makes me happy, and that's what really matters in life! Health before Wealth!

The problem with "Spotty Internet"

UGH. How DARE I miss a day! Truthfully, I didn't "miss the day" as far a what I was going to write... I just couldn't get the DAMN internet to work!

The above shall be the post for 04/23/2011, and below is the post for 04/22/2011

>>>>

"I can say, for the first time in a LONG time I am truly happy with my life, my choices, and my future"

Visit!

Tomorrow, I go to visit my God Son!  :)

I am very excited!!!

Husband is NOT as excited as he is feeling neglected, I have a feeling I am going to need to make a large batch of cookies when I get back to make up for me being gone for the weekend.

We then have Easter Dinner with my family on Sunday. I am happy to be able to have this weekend to spend with people that I love dearly. It's nice to be able to have the time free from work. It's amazing.

Struggles

I have been struggling with content of this blog for some time now, mostly about how open about my life I should be. My "Escape" is one thing, but there are other aspects of my life that I am unsure about how forthcoming I should be on the details.

This blog is open for the world to see, so I take precautions not to damage the reputation of a company, hurt my family's feelings, or set ablaze any bridges (just in case I should ever have to return to retail). Yet, I feel as if I am hiding too much, keeping this blog to superficial.

My blogs of sadness, shame, hurt have been the ones that I have received the best response from. Then I re-read them and think how silly I was to allow myself to show that much of myself. Of course, you all know I enjoy drinking, as several blogs have been "buzzed" blogs, but that doesn't break down the outer shell of me. It doesn't get to the heart of my feelings, doesn't allow me to be 100% open and free.

I think and additional goal of mine is going to be allowing more emotion into this blog. It has been four months of retail freedom, and I know that I am happier and better person NOW in April 2011, than I was in December 2010. It has been decided... I will allow more of myself to shine through on my blogs... I think it will be even more healing.

Plus, I will be forced to develop and grow.

So it is settled. More emotion (good or bad) and more ME.

Well, this should be interesting, don't you think?

Children and Retail

I felt the need to elaborate on my post earlier regarding horrible children. I love kids, I really do. I have a God Baby (Pumpkin Butt) that proves that I love children. What I can't stand is parents.

A little background on that blog.

Sunday is HELL in retail, for some reason everyone realizes Sunday afternoon that they forgot to get whatever it is they were supossed to buy Friday as they were leaving work. This Sunday was no exception, and the line to check out of Walmart was my own personal hell.

The parents of a (roughly) five year old boy were placing items for purchase on the check out, and their child was running amok pulling random items off the shelf and throwing them up in the air like a maniac.

Now, had this been a mother or father, alone, trying with all her might to control one child while also taking care of the household... I would have more sympathy. The problem was BOTH parents were looking at the child like, "Whatever, I don't have to clean that mess up". I almost had a heart attack right there, I swear I probably looked like a meth-head twitching in line out of rage towards these parents. I just wanted to grab the little kid at put his butt on a time out! BUUUUT doing that would have awarded me jail time, so I bit my tongue.

THAT is what is wrong with parents. NO structure, NO discipline. That is why people in customer service lose their minds quickly. Parents are not raising their children to be NICE people.

Okay, end of rant!

Puppy Snuggles

...are the best snuggles in the world!

I am enjoy some right now. They are euphoric... so I can't think of anything crazy and wild.

Everyone needs a baby-dog, they are wonderful!

Parents

Dear Parents,

Please do not let your brats run around the knocking over displays and throwing crap every which way, it makes the employees very annoyed. Just because you are a horrible customer doesn't mean you need to pass that along to your offspring.

Thank you,

Mrs. Retail Manager.

The problem with Saturday is...

...I lose track of time too easily!

It is almost Midnight and I have yet to blog anything. When did I suddenly "get a life"? Oh yeah, it's when I quit retail! 

Happy Saturday Everyone!

I can't believe what I just did.

A friend of mine is looking for a job.

I sent another friend (Store Manager) a text to ask if she was hiring. 

...she is...

The lines of communication between the two have been opened.

Did I just send someone to Retail DOOM?! Am I going to ex-retail hell? (Probably, but for many, many, many, other reasons). Then there is the other side of the coin. Did I really just recruit for a location that I used to manage? What is wrong with me? Can I never be free from the repetitiveness of retail and all the information that was brainwashed into me?

Things that make me feel better:

1. Job seeker needs a job
2. Store Manager needs an Assistant Manager
3. Beer/Diet Coke
4. My Dogs
5. It's not me that's going back to retail
6. Battlestar Galactica Reruns

That is my story for the night, I will have to let you all  know how this pairing works out. I will also have to let you know if Job Seeker decides to hunt me down and kill off my firstborn fur-baby (yes, I am talking about my dog) because I sent them back into the world of retail.

Also, did you all get your taxes done? We did. Totalllllly last minute. Go me. 

Mood: FRUSTRATED.

I am sorry that I have been so short on my blogging. I promise soon I will get back to posts about life and excitement.

Today was one of those days that reminds you that just because you are in a "low stress" environment for work, doesn't mean every day is going to be stress free.

I am agitated, annoyed, and frustrated. There are PLENTY of other words to describe my mood, but this is a family blog and I don't want to be cussing it up left and right. I hate when people are upset and hurt, especially when they are people I care about.

It makes it even worse when they are people that you interact with daily... I want to fix the problem, and I know that I can't. Right now I am in a mood that would make the Devil leave me alone if he passed by me on the street... it is quite unpleasant.

I shall spare you my wrath, and nonsensical rantings. Gosh, you are lucky.

Shall I leave you with a random quote of the night? Okay, here it is, "You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice."

LONG DAY

I almost felt like I was back at the store running around like a chicken with my head cut off. It was insane at the new job today.

Plus side, I got sushi for dinner and I took excellent voice notes for my "I'm gunna write a book" plan.

Down side, I am very tired and not thinking clearly.

Oh well, I think it all evens out in the end.

Off I go to read an excellent book and put my feet up. :)

Midnight

I totally forgot my blog before midnight hit!! OH NO!!!

At least I remembered to write something :) right??

How to Tell What Day of the Week It Is Just By Looking At Me.

Monday: 

Refreshed from the weekend. Hair is down, makeup is perfect, clothes are clean, socks match. At work early.

Tuesday: 

Hair is now in a pony tail (I get to that level of laziness pretty quickly), makeup is perfect, clothes are clean, socks match. At work on time.

Wednesday: 

Hair is in pony tail, make up is nice, wearing something comfortable rather than something pretty (still clean tho, that's a bonus), socks match. At work on time.

Thursday:

Hair is in a bun (poor hair), makeup is decent (it was also done in the parking lot at work), I wish I could kiss the person that invented the black hoodie (because that's all I am going to wear for the rest of the work week) and jeans that I probably found on the floor, socks might match. At work on time(ish).

Friday:

Hair is in a WET bun, makeup is semi-applied (still done in parking lot), black hoodie that has been worn way to much in the last few days and probably the same jeans as Thursday, socks do NOT match. Running to work to hopefully clock in at 9:35.

Saturday:

Hell Yeah, I look GOOD.

Sunday:

Pajamas all day. Good luck getting me out of the house and into something that is not a pair of sweatpants.

Oh hey, it's Monday again!

The Less Than 40 Hours Predicament

Tonight I am being creative!

I have found an amazing blog on the internet that has piano sheet music, and as I type this my printer in on overdrive printing up all the music I could want for days, weeks, maybe even years.

I am SO excited right now. I have even started messing around with the keyboard chords just to enjoy the sounds of the notes.

I am not looking forward to heading back to work tomorrow, this has been the laziest of all weekends, and I just want to sleep in my bed forever. So, if any of you are interested in work for me... I'll make sure to let my boss know that you are going in.

Off I go to play beautiful(ish) music!!

This Saturday

... I am going to read instead of watch TV in bed.

I am also attempting to stay up past 11pm. Wish me luck, I am not a "night owl" at all.

Short post, don't judge. I love all of you, my faithful 18 readers.

TGIF

I have been SO ready for this weekend. I don't know why I feel so drained this week, but I am just about ready to pass out.

My poor house, I feel like I have neglected it. I hate when it is messy, and right now it looks like a bomb has gone off. Sadly, that means my weekend will involve cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning. I guess that's what I get for being a lazy-butt this week.

I don't understand how I can be full of OCD one week, and full of lazy laziness the next.

I was SOOOOO pumped to leave work today. I don't know why, I just came home and sat on Facebook and Twitter posting a bunch of random nonsense that I am sure just drives people crazy. It's okay, there is always the "delete friend" option right?

It's only 8pm, and I am 28. I shouldn't be tired.

Oh well, I don't care. I'm going to get ready for bed. I think I will plan on an early morning so I can clean everything early and actually enjoy my Saturday night!

It finally happened...

I almost forgot my blog post tonight!

I know loyal 18 readers, what would you have done if there was nothing for you to read? How would I have looked at myself in the mirror if I had forgotten to fill your heads with sarcastic nonsense that flows from my fingers?

I can tell you this, I am not feeling very creative right now. I want to be creative, but I think that I am just in a slight slump in my writing. Stop rolling your eyes as if to say, "you have been in a slump since you started this blog", that's not very nice.

So here it is... day #50. The big FIVE-O. I honestly can't believe I made it this far. Yes, I agree some of the blogs are crap, please don't judge me.

I love my husband, my friends...

... and alcohol.

I left retail to have a life again, so I apologize for some slight blog neglect. Go watch Modern Family, you'll feel better. I promise.

Sneaky, Sneaky....

The ways retail makes you buy through torturing their employees:

1. The Greeter
• Oh yes, can I please, please, please stand at the door and act like a fool. Then they go even further and beg you to say hello in a different way to each customer. 1,000+ ways to say hello should be part of orientation.
2. The Whole Look
• Hours upon hours upon hours of setting up full outfits, windows, rooms, etc... All so you horrible customers can come along and destroy it in some self-satisfyingly ritual. As if making the store a mess makes up for the fact that you have to clean the dishes and pick up your dirty laundry at home. Then I get to pick it up. Luuuuuucky me!
3. Muzak
• It has been scientifically proven that music will control how people shop. (Baaaaa, we are all mindless sheep). Only after sitting through the same 15 Songs on repeat for a 10 hour shift will you understand true pain and torture. The person who invented Muzak should be locked in a store for 36 hours with Christmas music on repeat, that'll be perfect punishment for his horrible creation.
4. BOGO
• This is a two-fold issue. I hate BOGO because there is always that ONE customer that assumes you will always have BOGO. When the company decides to take a break from that sale all HELL breaks loose from this customer. It's like you stepped on a puppy in front of them. The other side of the coin is the customer who can not be bothered with reading the signs, so when you tell them it's BOGO they look at you wide eyed and say "really?"

Well, I think that's enough rage tonight... don't you think?  I just happened upon an article that talked about these things and couldn't help remembering all the pain that was associated with "making a buck" and felt the sudden urge to blog about it. 

Until tomorrow my dears. 

Boxes

The really cool thing about having worked in retail is you have an unlimited supply of boxes should you ever need them.

If you are still really close to the people who work there you also have access to a tape gun if needed. I am lucky enough to own my house, but before that it was a yearly adventure of moving and having those resources close at hand was awesome.

The only awkwardness comes from when you go to a store and there is a new store manager... they look at you all weird and you know they are judging you.

So, yeah, awkward.

Did I miss a day?

Thankfully I did NOT miss my day of blogging. I am so happy that I was smart enough to blog at 4am, although re-reading it I fear I wasn't at my sharpest.

Truthfully, I have had about 8ish hours of sleep in the last three days and I don't think I am functioning properly.

Good news, I have a beautiful God Baby that I nicknamed Pumpkin Butt, so beware you will be hearing LOTS about him. P.S - mommie is doing great. (Oh, and I totally updated my "About Me" to include Pumpkin Butt in it, because I am SOOOOOOO "that" person)

That's all I have for tonight. My suggestion, make up some awesome story in your head... and pretend I wrote it. cool??

Thanks my beautiful internet friends!

The Business of Being Born.

The Business of Being Born is an actual movie (directed by Ricky Lake if you are interested) and now that I am hanging out with my friend as she is having a baby I realize how much of a business this really is. I think after this experience is over (p.s. I'm super excited that I get to experience the start to finish birth of my God Son) I am going to make a comparison blog.

Right now it is, get the moms in, get the babies out, get the room clean, and get the next mommie in!

I also want to say that we have the most amazing nurse. She is understanding, sweet, funny, and just adorable. She has made the beginning of this process (did I mention that it is 3:43am?) so wonderful and comfortable, and made us all feel right at home. I feel more like we are all at a hotel instead of the hospital.

I also want to say I have been up since 5:45ish yesterday. This is from a women with a 10pm bed time. No foolsies.

I think it's about time for me to take a quick shower and get in a bits of sleep, but I am in an adrenalin rush and I am unsure that I will be able to get any sleep. I am also not a fan of sleeping upright in a chair, but I don't have a lot of options at this point.

My thoughts are as far away from retail as I can get them, the only thing I can think is I would never have been able to get this time off and be able to experience this event if I was still a slave to retail. I am also thrilled to have Monday off, another thing I would never have been able to do.

WOOOO! Baby Time!

Friday Entertainment.

What a treat to be able to go out with your co-workers and have fun.  I forget how great it is to be able to "let off steam" with others that are in the same position as you.

When I was the "Big Boss" never went out with my employees (I tried it once and it exploded in my face), so I found that Husband and I stayed at home and did nothing... Ever. The new job is wonderful, the people are awesome and fun! We went over to a co-workers house and stayed up until 2am. It's been a long, long, long time since I have seen 2am. 

I got up at 5am to drive two hours to be with my friend who is having a baby. Who does that? What am I... 21?

It's amazing the energy that I have now that I have reduced my stress level. 

Lastly, I have a confession, the internet here is spotty so my posts might not be long and exciting this weekend. Just an FYI! 

Work Party

Tonight I go to a work party. I have forgotten how much fun it can be to hang out with your co-workers. Tomorrow, I will tell you all about it. :)

My Mid-Day Thought.

"Slow days like today make me miss the fast-pace of retail. Then I have to give myself shock therapy for thinking such blasphemous thoughts"

How I Became Addicted to Diet Coke.

Caffeine might just be my best friend, if I wouldn't have meet my Husband when I did (and if California allowed it) I would have married a extra large Diet Coke from McDonalds.

Don't ask me what it is about us Diet Coke Heads, but we seem to dominate the retail world.  Every single Store Manager I ever worked under was addicted to Diet Coke, along with the co-managers, assistant manager, so on and so on. It got so bad at one point that our vending machine had two spots for Diet Coke! Yikes!

The exposure began in High School, for some reason when I wore size 3 jeans I felt that I needed to drink as much diet soda as possible. My new ever-expanding waistline might need the diet soda, but back then it was foolish to make that my drink of choice. Next thing I knew I was drinking Diet Coke and staying up till 4am. 

Ah, the life of a teenager!

By the time I was working full-time and going to college full-time I was a full fledge Diet Coke addict, I needed it to survive. Since everyone else I knew was an addict, so I felt right at home. 

To this day I am still a Diet Coke head... and Husband hates it. I think mostly because he hates Diet Coke flavored kisses, but he tolerates my addiction because he loves coffee (and Red Bull) and might even have a little bit of a problem himself. 

The first step is admitting it, right?

My Daily Walk

Yow know that older, retired couple that you see every morning walking the dog around the block, and then again every night?

That's totally going to be us.

I mentioned a few blogs back that I have been devoting an hour of my day to exercise. I have learned a few things in the last week:

1) Husband is the "Anti-Runner", nothing I do or say will ever convince him that running is a good thing. He believes that with each running stride he is slowing unweaving the fabric of time and refuses to be the reason the universe implodes. (I don't know if that is 100% true. Honestly, I think he is just lazy, but I'm giving him benefit of the doubt.)

2) Husband will walk anywhere with me as long as I don't start sprinting.

3) We have a superawesometotallyamazing park really close to us that allows dogs. Every time I go there it's like I died and went to park heaven. I sorta live in the ghetto, this park is a very unexpected surprise!

4) Sometimes I out-walk the dogs, and then I am forced to carry them uphill. They are beyond spoiled.

5) I am a walking maniac, if I am alone I can walk until my music playlist has cycled through every song.

6) I think I love walking so much because I used to spend hour upon hour on my feet and work and now I spend hour upon hour on my bum. 

Just throwing it out there, this is an unexpected but totally awesome side effect of not working retail anymore. I loving coming home to the sun still shining, an awake husband, and excited puppies!

A New and Unique View of Monday

Monday used to be my favorite day of the week.  After a long and difficult weekend of sales, I knew I was always going to be the opening manager, and I would be lucky enough to have my "office day" where I could clean up from the hectic weekend and write the schedule for the following week. It was a great time where I could count on my other manager to watch the floor, and learn how to one day be Store Manager themselves (learn from doing, or something like that). I also knew that my DM would be taking his office day, which meant I wouldn't be surprised with a visit where I was chewed out because I wasn't on the sales floor during my entire shift. 

Ah, Mondays, you were my best friend. Now, when I think of you I get a nasty "I miss my weekend" taste in my mouth. Monday now consists of work, work, and more work.  I love my set schedule very much, I wouldn't trade it for the world... but I truly understand having a "case of the Monday's" now. 

I feel like my brain becomes mush over the weekend and I forgot how to properly tie my shoelaces, let alone do my job properly. 

Okay, I kinda lied there... my shoes have no laces. I'm super lazy and just wanted some I could slip on. I must have known in advance that I would be exposed to "stupid Monday" syndrome. 

I guess it is not a bad trade off, I get two days of bliss and simply have to drink an extra Diet Coke on the way to work to function like a normal human being/kinda come close to being able to do my job. I also have to set the alarm clock about 30 mins earlier than any other day as I am a fan of hitting the snooze button. Don't ask me why, but I can cram what feels like an entire night's worth of sleep in 30 minutes of hitting the snooze button every 5 minutes. 

I call it therapeutic, Husband calls it madness.

Monday, you are a worthy opponent in my work week. 

Pure Joy and Happiness!

I don't plan on adding a lot of pictures to my blog, but the message in this image was amazing! I feel that all people should live by this. Everyone is perfect just the way they are, and being true to yourself is one of the most important things in life.

This is the exact thought that made me flee from retail, I felt that I was losing myself, losing my identity. To my horror I was becoming nothing but a Store Manager, I no longer had time to be anything else. 

I am budding into a person again, and it is an amazing feeling. I also notice the older I get the less I care about what people think. I don't care if I like music that others think is stupid, I don't care if people call me a nerd or geek, I don't care if people stare at me funny because I sing at the top of my lungs in my car!

Why? Because there is nothing more badass than being who you are.

And...

... the Birthday fun continues!

Why is it we always do more for his Birthday than mine? Oh well, love him lots!

Tonight's blog will be short and sweet, I hope tomorrow to get back to some interesting conversation. Until then, blogging world enjoy this beautiful Saturday!

Wow, March is FULL of Birthdays!

Happy Birthday to my Soul Mate, my Other Half, the Florence to my Machine, my Husband.

I love you.

Sad.

Today is a gloomy day. 

I will spare you all the dirty-dirty details, but my Mother-In-Law is going through an unpleasant divorce and my soon-to-be-Father-in-Law is now bring ME into the mess.

This pains my heart, and makes me SOOOOO angry at the same time.

First, why bring me into it? This is not my divorce, I have nothing to do with his decision to leave his wife. I made the choice to reach out to him and ask if there was anything I could do to make the transition as painless as possible. I really had love for this man, he was my family, and I was sad to think that he wouldn't be part of our lives anymore.

Clearly he didn't feel the same way about me. I think I am most sad about that fact. 

He has no biological children, yet I made sure to invite him over for father's day. I spent days looking for the perfect present for him for Christmas. I made sure to call him on his birthday. I wanted him to always feel like he was a part of our lives. He was my family, just the same as my parents. I really cared about him and his feelings.

Now, I am so blinded by anger I don't know how to feel. My head is in a state of numb sadness, mild but persistent. It is an odd, depressing, irritating feeling. 

I am not one to wallow in pity, yet I can't seem to shake this feeling today. He's got inside of my head and that makes it even worse. (place RAGE noises here).

It is sad that a 50ish year old man has to tear down a 28 year old woman to make himself feel better, and to plead a better case and help him win whatever he thinks he will gain from this divorce. I guess the last 4 years of welcoming him into our lives meant nothing.

Good riddance at this point, my heart has turned to stone; I will never welcome him in as family ever again.  

I know this has nothing to do with my Great Retail Escape, but before I knew it my fingers has typed this entire blog entry... my brain is simply a bystander tonight.

Passion

I believe myself to be a person with a lot of passion. I am passionate about many different things in my life, perhaps that makess me multifaceted, and maybe a little bit boring.

I would love to have one main passion in my life, something that is truly mine. I have always loved music and art, but I have never made it something that I am passionate about, it is not something that consumes my thoughts and I have a yearning, a true love to do it all day every day. 

I wish I had that. 

I think it goes back to my thoughts on finding the perfect job. If only I had something that I have pure passion for I would find my perfect job.

Now that I have a set schedule with more time for discovery, I think I am going to start experimenting to find a PASSION. Perhaps there is not something out there that I will ever feel an ultimate all-consuming passion for, but I would like to know that for certain. I think I will start with getting out my good old keyboard and see if I can remember how to play anything on it. It's been several years since I touched my poor keyboard, I'm sure it'll be happy for the company; maybe it will even help me find the right keys. 

Next, will be dusting off the old art supplies. I used to love drawing, and now that I am older I hope to have a different perspective on my art. I have a feeling I will still start drawing comic book characters. I can't help it, I'm a nerd.

I am not sure what my next "passion" choice will be, but I will keep you posted. 

I am not going to lie, I feel very excited right now. Energized. I think tonight is going to be one of those days I am able to stay awake past 10:30. 

At a Loss For Words

I find myself struggling tonight to find a topic of interest to blog about. This issue really hasn't been a problem before, and I knew the day would come that I would have brain block, I just didn't realize it would be so soon.

I realize now that if I had been thinking more clearly I would have started my idea list many years ago.

Roommate and I worked together at a couple of different companies, he is still a retail slave and I laugh at him frequently. I was his boss (TWICE) so he lets me get away with annoying him a lot. We thought about awesome book titles for crazy retail people... I think tonight I will share a few. 

"The view from the O.A.P's" 

("Overhead Access Panel" for those non-retail peeps. Hey! Maybe an "Acronyms of Retail" would be an excellent post for another night, and maybe I should have titled this blog "brainstorming".)

Next!

"12 Hours and I am Still Here"

How about?

"I Haven't Seen That Episode Yet, I Was Working. Thank Goodness For TiVo"

Or...

"I Have Forgotten What My Husband Looks Like"

Alright, that it the last one I will torture you with tonight. As soon as I finish my first book maybe I will start up on my second one. I think I like the last title the best, I'm sure the husband would too!

Routine

I envy those people who can survive without routine. Personally, I am a failure without a schedule.

My blackberry is so crammed full of my to-do lists and appointments that I am amazed that it has enough free memory to know how to answer phone calls.

The greatest thing about having a set schedule is it offers the opportunity to have a routine, and I am learning I am a much more productive human when routine is available.

FYI - A side effect of less stress and more sitting has resulted in my behind getting much bigger! So now I am devoting one hour of my day to a mild to moderate workout/exercise. I tried to “get in shape” when I was working in retail… that was a nightmare. I had absolutely no time, and I would exercise instead of sleep which (as any college student can tell you) meant I got sick all the time. I swear I was a member of the walking dead most of the time. People would constantly tell me, “oh just get past the two week mark, it always gets better after the two week mark."

Um, yeah, no.

Maybe it got better for YOU after the “magic” two week mark, but for me it was just as painful as day one. It never got better; I tortured myself for a month, got sick, lost a week of exercise, and then tried again.

What a nightmare. Finally I just gave up. I figured I worked on my feet 8-12 hours a day why did I need the stupid-stupid-stupid-stupid-stupid gym.

I am amazed at how refreshing it is coming home and taking the pup out for a jog, and because it is at the same time every night, my body expects that it is coming and I don’t feel dead tired. Hooray!

I guess it is true that you never stop learning about yourself. Throughout my great escape from retail I have been growing and developing as a person. I know now that I am truly dependent on my schedule if I wish to be a productive adult.

My schedule makes my world go round.

I suppose there are a LOT things that are worse to be dependent on, ya know, like crack.

Family.

I am a lucky person, I have family members that I love.

I know that not everyone in this world is lucky enough to have family that you can share a bottle of wine with, I really hope that you have friends that substitute as family. Those people are very important as well.

I am fortunate to have family members that are amazing, and I am glad that I get to spend as much time with them as I do!

Conversation With a Roomie

Return Policy:

"30 days with the original receipt, unused, in the original packaging"

I have broken the "Return Policy" thousands of times for customers, and most of them were legitimate reasons, and as I have previously blogged if you ask (even if it is your nasty gym socks you have used 50 times) you shall receive.

Tonight Roomie and I a discussed the attempt to return “specialty items” to a store. An excellent example of this is trying to return a jersey because your team lost. Come on people… that is just ridiculous!

On that note, I feel SOOOOO badly for all of you people who work at an electronics store and have to deal with those people who buy a big screen TV for super bowl, just to return it the next day. That must be like Black Friday 2.0.

When I worked for a company that was going out of business we had NO return policy. We were selling clothing at 3 for $5.00; in that situation a return policy is pretty silly. I was screamed at daily from people who got greedy and grabbed a bunch of items without bothering to check sizes. Holding back my screams of despair was difficult. Luckily, the store was going out of business, and I had not heard from my DM in weeks, so I could just walk away. And walk away I did. Many, many, many times.

I wonder what it is like inside the head of a person who buys something with the intent of “renting” it for the weekend. I have tried it, but my conscience gets the better of me and I just wind up keeping it, or not wearing it so I can return it in good faith. I am not cruel and I believe in rules.

Yet, I wonder what it’s like on the dark side.

I mean, I hate you people who think you can wear something for 6 years and get a brand new one because you spent $29.95 on it. BUUUUT you do have a unique view of the world, one that I would enjoy to live in for at least a day. However, I think if I stayed in your brain for longer than that I would have a strong urge to drink. A lot.

If they ever invent a machine that can swap brains with someone, like they did in Futurama, I am down. Any volunteers? I promise not to judge you because you are a terrible shopper *cough*person*cough*

Okay, I lied, I will totally judge you.

Enjoy!

This slightly intoxicated blogger says, "go forth my blogging friends and enjoy your weekend!!"

Why are you still reading??? Go!!

They Say It's Your Birthday!

I am having a great time!! 

I'm going back to enjoy my St. Patty's Birthday Adventure... we're celebrating more this weekend. I LOVE LOVE LOVE not working weekends anymore!

Woooo!

It's my Birthday (tomorrow)...

... and I'll blog about nuthin' if I want too!

Today was an excellent day! 

I don't know why I feel so happy and refreshed about life but I do, and nothing of importance or out of the ordinary happened today.

Honestly, Husband and I even got into a little tiff, but that didn't stop my mood. It helped that for my Birthday he promised that he would stop annoying me while I was cooking. Tonight he almost got a face full of steaming hot dinner due to his irritating habit of wanting to give hugs and kisses while I am trying to put ingredients into a pot! Ugh, MEN!

P.S - We are all better now, and he doesn't have 3rd degree burns. Yay!

I turn 28 tomorrow, and I look back at everything that 27 brought and I am very satisfied. Twenty-seven was a good age!! It makes me very excited about what the future holds.

We normally go "all out" for our birthdays (Husband's Birthday is the 25th) but this year due to money constraints we are staying indoors and enjoying each other's company. I might have a twinge of sadness because of this, but it is fully masked by the fact that I am having a happy-dappy day and nothing really can bring me down from my "Kim High". (Not to be confused with “Charlie Sheen” high, I'm pretty sure that'll get you sent to prison.)

March 17^th, 2011… Briiiiiiiiing it!

The Bank

I have horrifying nightmares about the bank, terrible flashbacks from being written up (yes, a full-on corrective action) because I didn't go every day.

First of all, I get that the company was paying for my time to go to the bank. What they were NOT paying for was my gas mileage. I don't remember signing a contract saying that I would go into my own pocket and pay to take my personal car to the bank and back almost everyday... yes, because I never did sign anything!

The bank was three exits down the freeway, not really that far, but driving back and forth everyday for 2 years added up. What made me even more irritated was the old store that I worked at (same company) was ONE BLOCK from the bank and they had an armor truck come and get the deposit every three days. (what????)

When I called Loss Prevention and asked for this service at my new store their replay was, "it's $300.00 a month for armor and we don't feel there is a need at your store". 

Of course not! Why pay for something when you have silly employees that will gladly drive to the bank for you?

This should have been a warning sign for me about how little I was really cared about at the corporate level. Sure, my DM was a decent person and even said "sorry" when he was forced to write me up, but it is amazing to me that they can expect people do give-give-give and never receive anything back.

Ugh, I hate banks.

Ode To The Cell Phone

Dear person talking to your “OMFG BFF 4 EVA” on your cell phone,

I am pretty sure that the cashier that had to listen to your description of what happened between you and that guy last night while you were stupid drunk was not high on their “bucket list” (I asure you, it wasn’t on mine). I am also pretty sure that if you would have simply put the phone down for 3 minutes your entire transaction would have been seamless, and you could have bought your lip-gloss and macaroni and cheese without having to say “huh?” sixteen times because you couldn’t distinguish between the cashier’s voice and the voice on the other end of your iPhone.

I am sorry that contact with a human is too difficult for you, and you thrive only through your phone and social media sites. Try to understand that it IS polite to put the phone down when you are going through the checkout, no matter how difficult it is. There will be questions (such as, “how would you like to pay for this today?”) that you will need to answer (don’t worry, you will not be graded) and your timely response will affect many others.

I understand you love for your cell phone, but PDA is unhealthy in any relationship… so stop sucking face with your blackberry 24-7 and look up and notice the world around you.

Retail people of the world will thank you.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Retail Manager.

Organizational Skills

I am a lean-mean-organizational-machine!  Annnnnd…  that is exactly what my Sunday consisted of.

I think when I left retail as a way to “stand up to the man” or whatever I gave up on keeping things overly organized. These last three months have caused major damage to my personal file cabinet and hard drive. Honestly, it looked like I turned over responsibility of those two things to my incredibly overweight miniature pincher (who I actually call a MAX-pin, and yes, I think it’s clever).

Today was my breaking point; I just couldn’t look at it anymore. My ex-retail brain has been walking by the mess of my file cabinet, and randomly clicking through my hard drive having little mini-seizures because of the mess. I lost it today and organized, then RE-organized everything. I had the time of my life… It was my own personal heaven. I started thinking about the nature/nurture thought, and if my personal work choice forced me into Anal mode, or if I was born with these feelings of OCD.

Before I sign off for the night, I want to express my care and concern for everything that is happening in Japan. I just want to ask this, if you have the capabilities to help, please do.

I wish that something of this magnitude would bring the whole world together and make us realize that we are one species on this planet trying to survive…. Unrealistic, I know… but I don't feel like popping my "nonsensical happy bubble" yet.

The Laziest Saturday Of Them All

Today was amazing. Husband and I cleaned the house and then relaxed.

Want to hear something funny? I am still receiving phone calls from the alarm company to my old store. Wouldn’t you think someone would have fixed that by now? I even emailed my old DM and let them know I was receiving these phones calls and it is still happening.

I think it’s hilarious. I have been an EX-Store Manager for three months now!

You know if there had been some memo I missed, or if I did something crazy like never taking away an ex-employees alarm code (can you say loss prevention issue), there would have been a write up in my future.

Back to my Saturday of pure delight … I played Sims 3 for hours… I started a Twitter… I walked the dogs… I chilled in bed for the rest of the day surfing the net.

Best. Day. Ever.

Now it is 10pm, and I think I am going to go to sit back in bed, relax, maybe watch some Netflix and enjoy the last few hours of this awesome day.

Assumptions

Let’s start tonight with an awesome quote shall we?

[I hate] “the assumption that you are stupid because you work in a shop.  Clearly any young person behind a counter MUST be a teen pregnancy, thieving, no good dropout, not a student who needs an extra few quid”.

I want to start by apologizing to the person who said this. Somehow from the time I hit “ctrl-c” to “ctrl-v” I lost your information… but I still laugh each time I read it. What an excellent observation! Why is it that customers assume that you are a complete loser just because you work in retail? I bet your average retail worker has had more college courses than the average retail shopper.

When I was a manager I was mistaken for a Sales Associate so many times it was laughable. I wish I could say it was because I have remarkable selling skills, but the reality is I just look like I am 16. The minute I let them know I was the STORE Manager the immediate response was…

“Of the entire store?”

People. Please. It was a 4,000 sq ft store. There wasn’t enough room in that place to play a decent game of hide-and-seek. Yes, I was the store manager of the entire store.

Next question.

“Wow, you look so young, how old are you anyways?”  

OMG…. awkward. Who does that? I hated giving people my age. It gave the customer too much power, and I don’t think I should have to defend myself because I answer “27” not “47”.

Next…

“Good for you Sweetie, what an achievement. But… what about college?”

By this time I was resisting the urge to bang my head up against the wall. How dare you assume that just because I am a Retail Store Manager I never bothered to go to College? I went to college… hell, I even graduated, but this is something people just don’t believe. They assume that to sell apparel for a living you need to be an idiot, a “teen pregnancy, thieving, no good dropout”.

Fewer assumptions please. Thank you. :)

Gosh darn it!

First off, I am alive. For those oddballs who looked over the blog while I was dying, thank you. Sorry for the lack of content.

I don't really know what got me thinking about this post, but for those of you who have worked in retail... do you ever really notice how much you cuss? I mean, honestly!?

I've worked in retail practically all my life, and if I have learned anything from that (and MythBusters) cussing really does make you feel better. I don't think it should be applied to all situations, and some people are just maniacs screaming F’s and A’s and B’s all over the place. That is a little ridiculous.

Oh, and if you ever cuss at someone to make them feel like less of a person, I think you should be forced to scrub toilets for the rest of your life as punishment because no person deserves that.

What I do know is I learned how to cuss in retail, and I learned how to do it really, really, really, well. Sorry mom, it wasn’t on the playground like you always thought, it was behind the door of EDP at my first retail job. We are well versed in cussing. It is like an art to us... we make the words sounds like poetry. ORRRRR we just scream and yell like a lunitic about some crazy customer who just called us a worthless use of air. CUSS my friends! Cuss like you have never cussed before! You will feel better.

Just don’t let Human Resources hear you.

Less Sick!

I am feeling like a human again, I believe tomorrow will be back to regular posting! :)

Sick x2

Not any better today, crossing my fingers for a speedy recovery tomorrow!

Sick

Feeling terrible tonight, I'm going to go lie down and watch Netflix. Yay for Netflix.

Dehumanizing Ourselves

I find it amazing how much humanity we lose while being served by others. Why can't we become more human as we interact with other humans? Instead people act like two intact male dogs urinating all over each other trying to prove who is Alpha. Of course retail people have been trained to be non-dominant at all times... which means we are the ones that get peed on the most.

I am curious why is it that people feel the need to call someone an "idiot" because they made a mistake. I remember once when I was still a Sales Associate I brought a size medium shirt to a customer who needed a size large. Someone had placed the shirt on a hanger with the incorrect size donut, and I was too swamped with other things to check the tag. Stupid hanger let me down.

I was then called a incompetent bitch by a 45 year old women 1/2 naked in a fitting room frantically swinging that hanger around. It was a horrific sight. After retrieving her large t-shirt I went about my business, which included being called to the register by a manager to help ring up customers. Tragically I was now face-to-face with hanger lady.

"Oh my god", she barked. "Do you even know HOW to use a register? I already know you can't read... I don't think they should trust you with money." 

I gritted my teeth as I rang her up and processed her cash transaction. She made a fuss about counting the change back on my register one bill at a time and comparing it to her receipt. At 19 years old I was unbelievably embarrassed, and that day I took my first step into cold hearted management.

My friends, I was turning to stone, and I didn't know it.

Saturday Again.

I'm taking the night off from Blog Brainstorming. I will say this, I started the outline for my book *patting self on back* and I am ready to start writing. Hooray!

Oh, and I am enjoying the company of the husband, good friends, and alcohol tonight. The only sadness in me is Best Friend is not here... the pain I was feeling a few days ago has evaporated.

Saturday, I am here to enjoy you again!

Mental Health Days

I used to believe that people who needed "Mental Health Days" (or joked about needing them) were weak individuals. In my mind those were the type of folks who got nowhere in life. They were the kind you saw stuck behind a register for 15 years because their "weak minds" couldn't handle working 22 hours straight.  I never wanted to be that type of person. Oh no, I was "dedicated", "determined", "focused", etc.

I was also full of crap.

Humans need breaks, vacations, and a day where they can say "I want to stay in my pajamas all day and not be judged for doing it!" I don't think that every day should be a Mental Health Day, but my thoughts towards having one every-now-and-then have changed. Sometimes you just need a day off from life. 

It is odd to see my 180 since I decided that I needed a "career change". After about a 25 minute conversation to myself OUTLOUD while driving home from work (after the third week in a row of working everyday and doing split shits) I pulled over, got out of my car, and walked around it once going over the "master plan" in my head of how I was going to get out of retail. To say I was a mess was the ultimate understatement. I really needed a Mental Health Day right about that time, hell, I needed a Mental Health WEEK. I got home in one piece, but I was forever altered.

That was the night I began my search of freedom, I stayed up until 3am searching other options. I also decided that "health before wealth" was my new life motto, and I was going back to school. 

I have been evolving since that night. I love the person, wife, daughter, and friend that I am becoming. I no longer define myself as a Retail Store Manager alone. I have other dimensions that are becoming more clear as I have the time and energy to explore them.

P.S. - Mental Health Day people, you are awesome!! I applaud your dedication to staying happy in your life, and not losing your mind in a Saturn SL1 at the ripe old age of 27.