Sad.

Today is a gloomy day. 

I will spare you all the dirty-dirty details, but my Mother-In-Law is going through an unpleasant divorce and my soon-to-be-Father-in-Law is now bring ME into the mess.

This pains my heart, and makes me SOOOOO angry at the same time.

First, why bring me into it? This is not my divorce, I have nothing to do with his decision to leave his wife. I made the choice to reach out to him and ask if there was anything I could do to make the transition as painless as possible. I really had love for this man, he was my family, and I was sad to think that he wouldn't be part of our lives anymore.

Clearly he didn't feel the same way about me. I think I am most sad about that fact. 

He has no biological children, yet I made sure to invite him over for father's day. I spent days looking for the perfect present for him for Christmas. I made sure to call him on his birthday. I wanted him to always feel like he was a part of our lives. He was my family, just the same as my parents. I really cared about him and his feelings.

Now, I am so blinded by anger I don't know how to feel. My head is in a state of numb sadness, mild but persistent. It is an odd, depressing, irritating feeling. 

I am not one to wallow in pity, yet I can't seem to shake this feeling today. He's got inside of my head and that makes it even worse. (place RAGE noises here).

It is sad that a 50ish year old man has to tear down a 28 year old woman to make himself feel better, and to plead a better case and help him win whatever he thinks he will gain from this divorce. I guess the last 4 years of welcoming him into our lives meant nothing.

Good riddance at this point, my heart has turned to stone; I will never welcome him in as family ever again.  

I know this has nothing to do with my Great Retail Escape, but before I knew it my fingers has typed this entire blog entry... my brain is simply a bystander tonight.